‘This country is doomed – all we’ve got is badgers and Theresa May.’
‘Usher is definitely my boo.’
‘I don’t need to learn how to survive in the wilderness – I have 4G.’
‘Oh, why couldn’t I have been a contortionist?’
‘Right, I’m gonna watch “Call the Midwife” and calm the fuck down.’
‘If I’m having vegan fast food, I don’t want there to be any vegetables involved.’
‘Yeah, my mother’s definitely a communist.’
‘I’m icing my ankle but I don’t have any frozen peas, so I’m using a quinoa pouch.’
‘If I could give birth to puppies, I would.’
‘I’m not going to Hawaii. It’s the Tenerife of America.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Love London and all its weirdness? Sign up now to get the best of the city straight to your inbox, as often as you like.