‘I kind of want to find the man of my dreams, but I also fucking hate everyone.’
‘My mate wiped his arse with a pitta bread.’
‘I’m too tired for real sex because I’m busy fucking everyone I see on the street in my mind.’
‘I’m so thick sometimes I surprise myself.’
‘Oh, no! I broke my Theresa May snow globe!’
‘We took a term off school last year and went to live in Sri Lanka.’
‘These are my “end of the world” shoes. I’m armageddon ready.’
‘I’m pretty sure you need consent to put a dick hat on someone.’
‘Can you get a train to Sweden?’
‘I really don’t like brown coins – they freak me out!’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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