‘Did you show them your fanny, Sarah? Is that what happened?’
‘Grazia is the literary equivalent of a Greggs sausage roll.’
‘No, the problem with his big penis was he didn’t jackhammer me long enough.’
‘You do not krump to Angela Lansbury.’
‘Did you wash that cucumber? The whole shaft?’
‘There’s just no comfortable place for my tongue in my mouth.’
‘I was abroad. I used beer as a meal replacement plan.’
‘It’s not even 10am and I’ve already seen four dicks.’
‘I’d be a very jumper-led James Bond.’
‘Oh yeah: I’d like to see your feet.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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