‘He’s so sheltered he’s never trimmed his pubes.’
‘It’s like an orgy that I’m not enjoying.’
‘I was in Tesco at 5am with two legs of lamb, Nutella, mini muffins, eggs and smoked mackerel.’
‘He’s your age, but ten years older.’
‘You can make so many things from bread. It’s the oblong of opportunity.’
‘No, I just don’t want chewing gum up my arse!’
‘I’m not being funny, but how on earth do you milk an almond?’
‘Every time I see a rock pool, I think: Charlie Dimmock.’
‘You can’t eat oysters – they’re really dangerous. That’s what killed Michael Winner.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
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