‘This morning I nearly cycled over a banana.’
‘He doesn’t look like Jim, he looks like that guy who looks like Jim.’
‘Eating a whole beetroot for lunch isn’t a permanent lifestyle choice.’
‘I’ve had six sausages today…and no man.’
‘Well, I’m afraid it’s just not going to be the same kind of night without any tahini.’
‘I could afford to buy a house in London…in 1989.’
‘I don’t think anyone’s ever been attracted to anyone by their penis.’
‘My fridge just has pickles and a Lush face mask in it.’
‘I just don’t know about him. I mean, he talks a lot about LinkedIn.’
‘God, it’s a long way to Waitrose with a plug in your arse.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Love London and all its weirdness? Sign up now to get the best of the city straight to your inbox, as often as you like.