‘Thank you for not looking down your trousers to see whether your knob looks like a saxophone.’
‘We’re spread so thinly at work at the moment, we’re basically pâté.’
‘Apart from Wetherspoon’s, I literally don’t know what you want.’
‘I’ve always been quite wary of llamas.’
‘Finding a dead man at work was a more pleasant experience than getting the train back from All Points East.’
‘How can I garden? Everything I own is Ted Baker.’
‘I wonder what quinoa was up to in the ’90s.’
‘That’s my favourite hydrogenated potato-based snack!’
‘My phone knows how to spell “Berghain”.’
‘It’s cold out here because it’s the air.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Love London and all its weirdness? Sign up now to get the best of the city straight to your inbox, as often as you like.