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‘She gave me a Christmas card then asked why I hadn’t put it up. I said “It’s the fourteenth of November!”’
‘Oh, I don’t think he’s gay. He’s just vegan.’
‘I ended up with a bag of chickpea puffs. Basically Wotsits for hippies.’
‘Who needs chocolate when you have rye bread?’
‘I can’t believe you’ve spent £50 on prosecco-flavoured crisps.’
‘I’m sorry, but how does taking a dump in a bin contribute to the group?’
‘I’m like Baby from “Dirty Dancing”. Without the dirty. Or the dancing.’
‘My hair is so curly it’s giving me a headache.’
‘Kneecaps are the chins of your legs.’
‘He bakes bread. He can be my friend with breadefits.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ is out now, £6.99. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.