‘My dominatrix was spanking someone so I thought it’d be impolite to leave.’
‘Isn’t vegan food just hot carrots?’
‘This conversation won’t resume until you tell me where you buy those £5 dildos.’
‘If you don’t choose “sloppy wet kiss”, you aren’t being true to yourself.’
‘I wouldn’t be able to recognise him in the light, to be honest… like all my boyfriends.’
‘I don’t enjoy beer as a concept.’
‘I feel like everyone dresses like they’ve fallen out of a construction site these days.’
‘Aw, I loved that spreadsheet.’
‘What civilised nation makes you pay for tap water?’
‘I don’t believe there are calories in drinks. You just pee it out.’
Every week you share the weird things you’ve overheard in London. Above, a few perplexing snippets from the past seven days – don’t forget to tweet us your own!
Like Word on the Street? We’ve made a book of these little beauties! ‘Word on the Street: Ridiculous Things We’ve Overheard in London’ is out now, £6.99. To buy a copy, visit timeout.com/wotsbook.