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Matchbook image of two well dressed couples sitting at table as waiter takes orders.
Photograph: Jim Heimann Collection

London restaurant staff on what not to do on a date

The silent witnesses share the worst dates they’ve seen play out

Isabelle Aron
Written by
Isabelle Aron
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Don’t flirt with the staff

‘I’ve seen a couple gaze into each others eyes only for the woman to go to the bathroom and the man pass a piece of paper with his phone number on to the waitress. The waitress gave the piece of paper to the woman on her return from the bathroom and she made a quick exit. He was left with a red face and the bill.’ Tim Healy, owner, Joe Allen

Don’t be late

‘A gentleman was incredibly late for a date and his excuse was that he’d got caught up shaving himself from head to toe in preparation. Why he felt the need to approach the date as if swimming the channel is a mystery best left unsolved.’ Olga Turral, waiter, The Pig & Butcher

Don’t try to blag it with the wine list

‘Don’t show off about wine if you clearly have no idea. More than once, I’ve had someone tell me they hate sauvignon blanc, but love sancerre (sauvignon blanc from the Loire Valley), which is a sticky one to explain without making them sound stupid to the guest they’re trying to impress.’ Ian Toogood, general manager, Launceston Place

Don’t be a dick

‘We once had a couple on a first date. He was on time, she was ten minutes late. When she arrived, he tapped his watch and said: “You are very, very late!” before even saying hello. Needless to say, she had a glass of water and left. It was painful to watch.’ Rizwan Khan, general manager, Junsei

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