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[title]There are undeniable perks to raising children in NYC, but urban life comes with its own set of parental challenges. From learning basic street smarts to crossing a busy intersection properly, children should learn the ins and outs of safety at a young age.
“NYC is a remarkably safe place,” Richard Aborn, president of the Citizens Crime Commission of New York, said. “But that level of security has the unintended consequence of reducing our street sense. You want to balance [kids'] sense of safety with the reality of living in a large city.”
Time Out New York Kids spoke with safety experts so parents can figure out how to tackle the discussion of pedestrian safety, crime, subway smarts and school safety with their kids.
Pedestrian and biking safety
Watching kids cross a busy intersection or zoom down a bike lane on a two-wheeler is enough to make any parent nervous, especially with dangerous distractions like cell phones. However, a routine is essential to keeping children safe outside.
“The key for us was simple rules, repetition of the rules and having all of his caregivers or grownups in alignment on adherence of the rules,” Megan Cunningham, NYC mom and founder of digital content studio Magnet Media, said about discussing street safety with her son, Jack, 5. “When he started to use a scooter, people around us would be completely freaked out because we would be walking at one end of the block and he would be scooting way ahead, but he would automatically come to a full stop at the end of the block and wait patiently for us to catch up.”
Gavin Lodge, NYC father of two, actor and dad blogger, said he has even turned street safety into a game. If his kids remember to watch where they are going and wait at a sidewalk corner for him to catch up, he would reward them with imaginary “points.” If they refuse to follow any safety rules, they are given an immediate time-out.
Even if it seems scary, Jennifer Nevins, NYC mom of three, parenting blogger and founder of Savor, believes in giving her kids independence.
“I find that they act more responsible on their own than when they are with me,” she said. “When they’re on their own, they only have themselves to rely on to make sure they are crossing the street safely. Frankly, I’m much more afraid of them being distracted by their phones!”
Crime safety
Even in a low-crime neighborhood, NYC families are encouraged to make regular conversations about caution and security a habit.
“The message for my son was more like, ‘It's important for each of us to take care of our things,’ rather than, ‘The city is full of criminals, which just isn’t true,” Cunningham said.
She also said she and her son got a first-hand lesson on why you should never let your guard down.
“Once, Jack and I were biking around and I popped into the dry cleaner to pick something up and had my bike leaning on the door three feet away. Someone grabbed it, jumped on and drove away with my bike,” she added. “That was a first-hand lesson that meant we always had to lock up our bikes and keep our bags and valuables close to us.”
Aborn of the Citizens Crime Commission said that the most important thing parents can do if their child is going out by themselves is to make sure their cell phones are fully charged.
“Kids should travel in groups, always know their route and know safe places to stop along the way if they feel unsafe or threatened,” he said. “Every kid should know that they could walk into practically any store or ask a police officer for help.”
Subway safety
At some point during every young New Yorker’s childhood, he or she will begin taking the subway alone. To make sure your kid is ready for that small boost of independence, it’s best to start preparing early.
“We used to do pop quizzes on the subway about what to do if we were separated or if they get lost,” Nevins said. “I would tell them, ‘You get off at the next stop and stay there. You find a station person or police office and tell them what happened and you do not leave that place until I come find you’”
Once kids start venturing out underground by themselves, Aborn said that they should always be told to get on a car in the middle of the subway, since that is where the conductor is usually located.
School safety
Given the current national climate, the question of school safety is on every parent’s mind—and children probably have questions, too.
“Children watch screens of all sorts, just as much as adults do, and they are very aware of what’s going on,” Aborn said. “Listen carefully to what they say and don’t minimize any fears. What may seem like an exaggerated worry to an adult could be very real to a kid. Reassure them that many people are working to keep them safe—from the police to their schools and teachers and parents.”
He also said that if, under any circumstance, they find themselves face-to-face with a gun, children should always assume that gun is loaded.
Parents should know that the New York SAFE Act requires universal background checks on all gun purchases. In addition, moms and dads should be aware that every board of education across the city is required to have a district-wide safety plan and emergency response plan in place, according to the statewide Project SAVE, which was signed into law in 2000 following the Columbine tragedy.
With all of this information in mind, Aborn said that it’s important to focus on making your kids' viewing habits a positive one.
“Limit exposure to the excessive media coverage about shootings, because that can heighten unnecessary fear in a child,” Aborn said. “Instead, expose them to footage of people helping each other.”
Joanna Fantozzi is a freelance food and lifestyle writer and connoisseur of all types of melted cheese. Follow her work on Twitter @JoannaFantozzi.