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20 things New Yorkers think about more than sex

By Cleo Bergman
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There are few things in life people think about more than sex. But for New Yorkers, it’s just as normal (though probably not as healthy) to think more about things like subway delays or our elaborate fantasies of upgrading to a swanky highrise instead of our dilapidated apartments. Sometimes that’s sexier than thinking about the weird ways New Yorkers have sex! Below are just some of the many thoughts to cross New Yorkers’ minds before sex.

1. Wondering when your roommate will finally Venmo you her half of the rent.

2. Fantasizing about living in a penthouse overlooking the city.

3. All the ways the subway could be better.

4. Worrying that this may be the day you get hit by a wild car.

5. How badly you need a drink.

6. Planning your next getaway out of the city.

7. Wondering where that person got that cool article of clothing that you secretly (desperately) want.

8. Finding ways to take naps throughout the day.

9. Your next cup of coffee. And the next one after that.

10. How man-spreaders and pole-leaners should be eradicated from earth.

11. Worrying about who our next president is going to be.

12. Marveling at how quickly the city is changing before your very eyes.

13. Wondering why exactly the Empire State Building is fuchsia and orange tonight.  

14. Wondering how your life would turn out if you spoke to that beautiful person sitting across from you in the subway/park/cafe.

15. Wondering where the nearest bathroom is.

16. Imagining the day you’ll feel financially comfortable enough to walk into any fancy restaurant without worrying about the bill.

17. HOW CUTE IS THAT PUPPY OH MY GOODNESS.

18. The five million emails you need to send at work before this weekend.

19. Existential thoughts like whether or not your family is proud of you and if you’ve really made the best decisions for yourself. Because in all likelihood, you might’ve missed a huge chance to make it big or find your passion or meet the love of your life. Was it all worth it? Are you truly content? Is it enough to just be living in New York, or do you desire something more?

20. Pizza. You desire pizza.

The polls are open! Vote for your favorite spots that deserve a Love New York Award.

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