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Winter in New York comes with rivers of hot chocolate, cozy bars with fireplaces and a whole mess of festive events. But when snow starts to fall, the city also gets invaded with every New Yorker’s biggest foe: the slush puddle. Lurking around the sides of busy intersections like medieval torture moats, the slush puddle is approached by every Gothamite with a unique style. The next time you happen upon a vaguely deep black puddle, try one of the following tactics as you venture outside this winter.
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1. The long jump. A desperate leap across the water like a chilly gazelle.
2. The epic walkabout. Going a full block down and crossing there, because you just can't handle the slushy stress.
3. The step of faith. You're not sure if that’s ground or six inches of water, but you just go for it.
4. The traffic jam. Someone walking so slowly to avoid getting wet that there's a line of 10 people behind them.
5. The true love. Getting carried by your significant other.
6. The wrecking ball. Stomping through the slush with high rain boots and not caring in the SLIGHTEST.
7. The fatal hesitation. Accidentally stepping in slush, then not being able to decide if you should move back or forward, leaving you mentally and physically frozen.
8. The stalker walk. Methodically placing each shoe in the footprint of the sidewalk pioneer before you.
9. The intrepid exploration. Deciding that going over the mountain of snow is a much better tactic than risking the icy depths.
10. The yogi. Contorting your body into such odd shapes to stay on solid ground that you accidentally do Warrior II.
11. The mad dash. A sprint that starts halfway down the block and is finished by running through the puddle screaming “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
12. The after you. Letting everyone who approaches the narrow snow path go first as you wait 45 minutes.
13. The ballerina. Using the daintiest of steps to land on every small piece of solid ice with your arms outstretched.
14. The grumble. Constantly complaining about snow, ice, unplowed streets, politics, religion and hollowed-out bagels with every step you take.
15. The quitter. Looking at the pile of snow, turning around and leaving.