If New York is the big apple, then Sydney is the bent banana. Whether you're into poking your member through a hole in a wall hoping for a ‘lucky dip’, strapping a complete stranger into a sling, or throwing yourself into a dark room and feeling your way Helen Keller style, Time Outhas got the low down on the down low at Sydney’s key sex-on-premises venues.
This large, three-storey 'social club' offers discreet back entry 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You want facilities, boys? This place has got them: as well as a good bonk, you'll be able to squeeze in a game of pool, a boogie on the dancefloor and a ride on the treadmill, if you're that way inclined. On Tuesdays and Wednesdays the club welcomes crossdressers and on Sundays, from 1-9pm on the top floor only, gay guys can go nude. In fact, they have to.
Located right on Oxford Street, Kingsteam is a discreet and safe sex on premises venue with lube and rubbers aplenty and some extra amenities – a gym and snack bar! The joint's been going since the '70s and there are two dry saunas, two spas, a steam room and private rooms for all sorts of mischief-making.
Signal has been serving up quick roots and seedy sessions for as long as Boy George has been fat. Hidden two floors above the Tool Shed on Oxford Street, Signal is as dry a cruising joint as an Arrow Root biscuit, but pulls in plenty of hot trade. The benefit of having a back entrance to the venue means plenty of curious guys duck in for a quick 'how's your father' during lunch time and straight after work. Saturday nights are a bit of a train wreck in the way that drunk (and often hot) fellas use Signal as a plan B if they have failed to pull in a root at the club they just paid $25 for entry at. Plenty of rooms, booths, glory holes and two porn rooms makes Signal cheap, but not so nasty. Oh did we mention that on Monday nights if you whip it out and prove you size up 8 inches plus, you get in for free?
From beefy boys to twinks Bodyline offers a wet spot for everyone. Established in 1991, Bodyline was the first lawfully established sex-on-premises gay venue in NSW and is still gay-owned and operated. It has a huge spa, steam room and sauna on the lower ground floor where boys roam around free-range; a coffee lounge and cinema on the ground floor; private rooms and a video room on the first floor; and a great sun deck on the second floor. It’s kept very clean and while it can attract the buff party crowd from many of the nearby nightclubs, including Arq, it can also pull in some real duds – but then again that's the way the game rolls out at these kinda haunts.
Steamed dumplings aren't the only juicy things on offer in Chinatown. Gay-owned and run, and located in the heart of Chinatown, Sydney City Steam is spilling over with mature men and boys from Asian backgrounds – perfect for those seeking an exotic walk on the wild side or fellas with a Peter Fonda fetish. Sydney City Steam is very clean, and modern but has no distinct vibe. Facilities include a spa, steam room, sauna, two cinema spaces, various ‘fantasy rooms’, and a coffee shop and internet kiosk where you will find boys picking up other boys online. Ironic, we know! if you are looking for buff, beefy gym types try Bodyline or Kens.
HeadQuarters is a Cruise Club (or sex on premises venue) for men to get it on, hot and safely with other men. If you've never ventured into a sex venue here is how it works; You rock on up and try to hide your nerves, pay a modest fee (usually under $25) for entry and once you are through the doors wander around sizing up fellas who are hopefully sizing you up right back. As a dry-cruising venue, patrons are required to remain clothed until they hop in a cubicle, sling room or booth with their new 'buddy', where both parties can then strip down and get it on! HeadQuarters offers a number of themed areas such as a sling room, garage room and dark room, so punters have plenty of options to get creative in. Condoms and lube are practically on tap here, encouraging all horny buggers to get busy safely.
By Andrew Georgiou