Islington is one of the most restaurant-dense areas in the UK and home to Europe's third longest escalator - as well as the decomposing bones of lots of famous people, including Douglas Adams and Jeremy Beadle. If Foxtons is anything to go by, it's highly unlikely you'll be able to ever buy a pad in the area with its exploding property prices too, so enjoy being an Islingtonite while you can.
After all, you know you live in Islington when:
Breakfast at Sunday, Hemingford Road Emily Gibson
...you gained five pounds when you first moved here. This is because Islington - like relationships, pregnancy and ligament damage - is very fattening. Blame Smokehouse, Meat People, and a never-ending galaxy of chorizo-strewn, syrup-soaked pancake options elsewhere. Breakfast just isn’t breakfast without at least half a pint of hollandaise sauce.
...there's always somewhere new to eat. Never mind that Upper Street probably has more restaurants than any other street in the capital, the arrival of MEATliquor in a few weeks' time is looking to be the highlight of your year.
...you're caught perving on houses. Oh that awkward moment when you make eye contact with the owner of the five-storey Victorian townhouse you’ve been shamelessly ogling as you walk past. That’s what they get for leaving the curtains open on a squillion pound plush pad.
Adventures in Furniture, Islington
...you aspire to 'grown up' furniture. You're a regular at all spots on Upper Street that sell eclectic collections of astronomically expensive furniture, putting your Billy bookcase and Ribba picture frame-filled flat to shame.
...you are now famed for your stylish (but not especially useful) gifts. Everyone in your inner circle can now say they own a Joseph Joseph folding herb chopper or a £38 bottle of Aesop hand soap.
...you are a regular at Club du Fromage. Saturday nights at the O2 Academy Islington may not be classy, original or hygienic, but it’s a damn good night out. Providing you’re too drunk to notice that everyone else is under 22 and groping each other.
...you no longer schlep over to Soho. There's now plenty of quality - and cheap - theatre right in the neighbourhood. Sadler’s Wells is one of the best dance theatres in the country; West End comedy 'The Play That Goes Wrong' started out on St John Street’s teeny tiny New Red Lion Theatre; The Almeida is knocking out five-star hits like there's no tomorrow and where else but the Pleasance could you buy a ticket to see Alan Davies for 12 quid?
...you’re already sick and tired already of people asking if Jeremy Corbyn is your MP.
...you're proud of Islington’s borough-wide 20mph speed limit. That is, until your dad comes to pick you up in the car at Christmas, in which case it’s a piece of maddeningly illogical bureaucracy that needs to be abolished immediately.
...the sodding Overground is closed for maintenance every other weekend. Whoever was in charge of bus routes clearly had some weird grudge against east London.
...invitations to events south of the river are treated like summons to Mordor. The only thing that’ll get you down there is when Arsenal's playing a home game and the tube stations and all the good pubs become a crawling mess of red and white polyester (no offence to Arsenal fans; I’m sure it’s marvellously convenient to live so close to home turf. Just keep it down, yeah?).
Sound familiar? There's more in our Islington area guide.