Soho clubs

Soho’s world-famous G-A-Y Bar has everything you’d expect: cheap drink offers, a young crowd and plenty of Britney. The G-A-Y night at Heaven gets the celebrity cameos, but this popular bar is still a shrine to queer pop idols, with nightly drinks promos every time they play a video from the current diva du jour. There’s also a women’s bar in the basement, called (delightfully) Girls Go Down – popular with flirty, studenty lesbians, loathed by most older women. G-A-Y bar’s plush late-night sibling, G-A-Y Late, is round the corner at 5 Goslett Yard.

Soho’s only exclusively lesbian venue – and the longest-running by far of London’s three queer femme bars – this basement venue is run by the team behind nearby Ku Bar and has a comparable flair for laying on entertainment. With comedy, cabaret, karaoke, drag shows and quiz evenings alongside a busy programme of clubs nights, She takes its role as a stalwart of London’s lesbian scene very seriously, and stays open til 1am five nights a week. 

Want to hang out with all of London’s influencers, nepo babies and celebs? Head to the Box, London’s most exclusive and scandalous venue, where cabaret shows often feature nudity, sex acts and bodily fluids. First: some context. Simon Hammerstein hit the scandalous jackpot with his New York club when it opened in 2007, combining flagrantly outrageous shows with high-rolling clientele and tales of behind-the-scenes controversy. Early in 2011, he opened the London branch. Enter, the Box Soho. So what can you expect? For a start, you won't get in unless you have very deep pockets (table reservations are several thousand pounds) and/or know someone. If you do make it in, you'll see they've remodelled the place a treat, in a decadent-chocolate-box kind of way that seems to be to the taste of the mostly young, bougie clientele. The show is of a high technical standard, with mostly exclusive acts compered by mischievous MC. Some, especially the skills-based turns, are very strong; others tend to the titillating or have more production values than originality. The stand-out is the extraordinary Rose Wood, a transgendered performer whose pieces – generally heavy on nudity, violence and bodily fluids – bespeak a sophisticated, funny and deeply humane engagement with the context of the Box and the world beyond. 

For those who enjoy crooning into a hairbrush, but are too shy to take to the stage, Lucky Voice might be the solution. Nine private ‘pods’ allow groups of four to 12 people to belt out a classic without any fear of embarrassment. Pizza and nibbles are basic, but the drinks menu is more extravagant; choose a snifter off the list to chase away any lingering inhibitions. With almost a million songs on the 
play-list, there will certainly be a tune you know – so no excuses.