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The London Eye is one of the capital's undeniably iconic tourist attractions. And to celebrate ol’ Lizzie’s Platinum Jubilee on June 2-5, the Eye's organisers have created a brand new pod experience, dedicated to our longest-reigning monarch.
We’ve had a gander at what is being billed as ‘The Queen’s Head’, ostensibly designed to be a traditional 1950s pub, soaring 135m over London, and the decor is… a lot.
A zip around on The Queen’s Head will set you back £60, which will include not one but two drinks and fast-track boarding (no pints, I’m afraid, as drinks on offer are strictly approved by HRH and will be either Beefeater gin or Dubonnet-based cocktails).
The pintless pub will be unveiled on May 27, but in the meantime, we have some questions…
Is it actually meant to be a pub?
Or is the pod something else entirely? A recreation of Buckingham Palace’s souvenir shop? Some sort of extremist shrine to the concept of royalty? Immersion therapy for queenophobes?
How does one wee?
I’m not sure how I feel about going in a bottle in the corner with Queen Lizzie watching over me. And is it really necessary to have quite so many pictures of the monarch? The archway of gilded photographs provides little escape from the watchful eyes of our enduring ruler.
Is that the same carpet they have in Spoons?
And is it on the ceiling? Let’s not even mention the red velvet curtains. The red bench, meanwhile, looks suspiciously like it's been lifted straight out of Angus Steakhouse. And that dartboard – surely lobbing darts in such a small space is a hazard? You wouldn't want a throw to go awry and accidentally smash a decorative mug. And there are a lot of decorative mugs.
Have Little Nan’s been consulted?
This pod is definitely channeling the kitschy-chaotic chic of one of Time Out’s favourite whimsical cocktail bars. Except this time, it’s not ironic. Do they want their bunting back?
Jokes aside, stepping into a 1950s time capsule that will transport you back to the days Our Liz first ascended the throne does sound quite fun. And who doesn’t want to get pissed at 433ft in the air? We’re just glad that decor is a little bit more minimal these days. Someone get Marie Kondo in there!
The Queen is also putting on the world's longest picnic
London pubs can stay open later during the Jubilee bank holiday weekend. Hooray!