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North vs South: which side of the river should you live on?

It's the first question every prospective Londoner should ask themselves, and the answer all depends on how much you like pubs, parks and being burgled

Crime
1/7

(Reported crimes per 1,000 people per year)

CRIME – SOUTH WINS!

Forget the south London scare stories. Posher neighbours make for nickable cars and laptops.

Open space
2/7

(Percentage that is parkland)

OPEN SPACE – NORTH WINS!

Three cheers for Hampstead Heath! If only we could afford to live near it.

Rent
3/7

(Average weekly rent for a two-bed flat)

RENT – SOUTH WINS!

Southerners save two-and-a-half grand a year; northerners claim you get what you pay for.

Schools
4/7

(Percentage of primary schools with above-average results)

SCHOOLS – NORTH WINS!

North London is top of the class. But only just.

Transport
5/7

(Mainline stations per square mile)

TRANSPORT – SOUTH WINS!

South London has more Overground stations, but the north has most of the tube.

Party
6/7

(Bars and pubs per square mile)

PARTIES – NORTH WINS!

Prim up north? Not according to these figures.

And the result is...
7/7

AND THE WINNER IS... NOBODY!

If you’re rich, drunk and own a dog, head north. If you want to save money and avoid getting robbed, live south.


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