Fashionable? No way. Even better than watching Survivor in your pyjamas? Oh yes. Melbourne is full of places to get your guilty pleasure kicks: how many of these have you ticked off?
1. Buying cheap wine at the Exford and then telling the waiter at Shanghai Dumpling that it's your birthday.
2. Then going to Charlton’s for karaoke and requesting ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’.
3. Touching the NGV water wall.
4. Getting your MMMBop on at I Love ’90s Fridays at Perseverance.
5. Visiting Franco Cozzo furniture and pretending to seriously consider purchasing a full bedroom suite.
6. Going to the Hyatt, but only to use its bathrooms (for a fancy wee).
7. Demolishing a mixed giro platter at Stalactites at 2am.
8. Going on the merry-go-round at Luna Park repeatedly even when kids are clearly waiting.
9. Lingering over your smashed avocado at the latest cool café while watching hungry people queue for a table.
10. Wearing your festival unicorn onesie around the house/to the shops.
11. Taking an invigorating walk along St Kilda Beach, then stopping at Europa Cake Shop and devouring all the cream-filled delights you can manage.
12. Enjoying a ‘lunch’ of free samples at the Prahran/South Melbourne/Victoria Market.
13. Crashing a house party where you know no one (but dancing like you know everyone).
14. Reasoning that the free tram zone extends all the way to Preston, basically.
15. Ordering an espresso martini because you want a drink, but also because you could really use a coffee.
16. Partying with the backpackers at Base in St Kilda.
17. Sneaking in enough booze to give Ernest Hemingway a hangover on day one of the Boxing Day Test.
18. Dressing up for the kids’ film screenings at ACMI during the school holidays (last time there was a How to Train Your Dragon Viking day!).
19. Hogging the baby animals at the Royal Melbourne Show when kids are clearly waiting.
20. Smashing Huxtaburger's butter-brushed burger bun.
21. Gettin' low with this guy: