There are white lies, the harmless less-than-truths that helps keep everybody happy, and then there are New York City lies—the strategic disinformation you rely on when handling the WWE smackdown that is parenting in the Big Apple.
Take a look at our list of the 15 lies every parent has told their seen-it-all real New York kids. Some of them you may have used. (Who hasn't fudged the truth about going to one of the best ice cream shops in NYC for kids "later today?") As for the others, feel free to file them away then pull them out when the time is right.
1. "You can't ride your scooter today because it's going to rain."
(Reality: It's going to take a lifetime to get from Point A to Point B, so just cross your fingers for some precipitation.)
2. "Only out-of-town tourists are allowed to go on carriage rides in Central Park."
(Reality: There's no way you'll spend that much money to clop around the park's lower loop.)
3. "FAO Schwarz is a museum."
(Reality: The toy chest is too packed for new inclusions right now.)
4. "You can't play the games at Luna Park more than twice."
(Reality: You don't feel like spending $50 to knock down cartons in hopes of getting a prize.)
5. "You have to stay at a baseball game until at least the bottom of the fifth inning."
(Reality: It took you forever to get to Yankee Stadium, and you're not leaving early.)
6. "There's no time for a soft-serve now, but you'll get a cone on the way home."
(Reality: You'll "forget" about the promise you made when you walked past the Mister Softee truck parked in front of the school.)
7. "All kids share a room."
(Reality: You'll never give up your rent-stabilized apartment.)
8. "Pizza is a food group."
(Reality: That $1 slice will do just fine for dinner.)
9. "You can just scoot under the subway turnstile."
(Reality: Any child over 44" tall should pay full fare.)
10. "The squirrels in the park are as good as having a pet."
(Reality: Labradors are great—if you have a yard and a station wagon.)
11. "The planned subway work will make it impossible to get there."
(Reality: You don't feel like going, wherever "there" may be.)
12. "You can't ride Jane's Carousel more than twice."
(Reality: You might be getting a little dizzy.)
13. "That very still pigeon on the sidewalk is just taking a nap."
(Reality: It's not.)
14. "This is the best mac 'n cheese in the city"
(Reality: This is where you're eating, and you don't want to hear any complaints.)
15. "The Santa at Macy's on 34th Street is really Santa."
(Reality: Who can say for sure?)
