I get it—being single in the city can be tough, and the ways New Yorkers are having sex these days can be surprising. But whatever your dating conundrum might be, I'm here to help. Consider me (Jillian Anthony, Time Out New York's Senior Things to Do editor) your personal wingwoman, guiding you through dating and doing it in New York in our weekly "Let Us Sex-plain" column. Check out my answers to all your questions online and in the magazine every Wednesday, and submit your own coitus queries below!
I’m bisexual, and I’ve fallen in love with my best friend, who, as far as I know, is straight. When we hang out it’s as if no one else around us matters; we even cuddle. My friends tell me she’s fiercely protective of me and seems jealous when I’m focused on other people. How do I know if her behavior is typical best-friend behavior or if she is also interested in me?
—Katie, Bensonhurst, Brooklyn
Friendships can be intense and complicated and can even feature physical affection—just like a romantic relationship. Plus, friends get jealous sometimes too. My point is, you likely won’t ever truly know what’s going on in your friend’s head unless you ask. She could admit her feelings for you, and that would be great! Just be prepared for her to say she doesn’t have romantic feelings for you, and know your friendship may change after your conversation—no matter the verdict.
I’ve only had sex a few times, and I finished for the first time the other night. Afterward I pulled out and just sat there awkwardly with the condom still on. Am I supposed to get up immediately and clean off? What’s common practice?
—Collin, Bed-Stuy
From personal experience, male friends’ anecdotes and a very unscientific Twitter poll, I can tell you it’s quite normal for most guys to take condoms off either immediately or within a couple of minutes after they finish; no one likes to sit in their own mess. Enjoy your orgasm, then feel free to take out the trash. A few seconds away won’t break the mood if you have a partner who’s waiting for more.
