Worldwide icon-chevron-right Europe icon-chevron-right United Kingdom icon-chevron-right England icon-chevron-right London icon-chevron-right ‘Nothing says Christmas like a wet tortilla’: Max Halley reviews Christmas sandwiches

‘Nothing says Christmas like a wet tortilla’: Max Halley reviews Christmas sandwiches

Advertising

 

 

 

He’s the famously outspoken owner of Max’s Sandwich shop in Crouch Hill. We got Max Halley to try high street Christmas sandwiches, and he didn’t hold back…

Festive Feast Deluxe, Subway 👎 

 

‘It’s clammy and it smells weird. Weirdly, the tomato is the most prominent flavour. I don’t think there’s anything Christmassy about this.’

Pigs Under Blankets sub, Tesco 👍

 

‘Pigs under blankets? Tesco, it’s pigs in blankets! This is a sausage-and-bacon sandwich. But I quite like it. The sage and onion give it a really Paxo-type flavour. I love Paxo. Tesco’s  won me over. I’m gonna save it for later.’

Brie, cranberry and grape sandwich, Waitrose 👎 

 

‘I’m not even going to eat it, because it’s got brie in it. Brie, cranberry and grape – what is this, a 1970s canapé? Tell you what, I’ll smell it... I’m not into it.’

Turkey, stuffing and crispy onions baguette, Eat 👎 

 

‘I see cranberries, turkey, rocket, stuffing – animal, mineral or vegetable, who knows? Are these those crispy onions you get on hotdogs? That’s quite nice – not that there’s anything festive about a hotdog. The bread is dry as fuck. Eat’s done itself in with this bread.’

Christmas Lunch sandwich, Pret 👍

 

‘Malty – I’m into that. When you get into the middle, it’s not too dry, but the back of it is lacking in filling. It’s a little sweet – it needs a bit more acidity. But it’s actually quite nice. I’ve got some on my face, which is always a good sign.’

Christmas Lunch wrap, Sainsbury’s 👎

 

‘It’s a cold, floppy tortilla with a “turkey feast” in it. The whole thing looks anemic. It’s festive in the Tiny Tim way. Nothing says Christmas like a wet tortilla. It’s as if someone at the factory pressed the Christmas button, and something slightly different happened.’

Dinde de Noël baguette, Paul 👍

 

 

 

‘This actually looks like real bread – it looks like someone’s made it. Is it cranberry bread? A little bit of innovation. Bacon, turkey, fucking spinach… Spinach is quite nice, but what’s it doing in my Christmas sandwich? The smoked bacon flavour is quite prominent, I like that. It’s delicious.’

Festive Turkey Feast sandwich, Crussh 👎

 

‘It’s a festive turkey feast with ruby-port-and-cranberry sauce. Do they all have the same supplier? Is there a factory in Wigan making port-and-cranberry stuffing and flogging it to every high street shop? The cranberry sauce has got that orange peel flavour, like the bitter edge of marmalade. I’m gonna put it back in the box.’ 

Max’s Sandwich Shop, 19 Crouch Hill, N4 4AP. Crouch Hill Overground.

Hungry for more? Here are London's Christmas sandwiches ranked worst to best.

Or find more festive fun with our ultimate guide to Christmas in London.

Share the story
Latest news
    Advertising