So you know when you're walking down the street, and you land on Mayfair, and you have to shell out $2,000 because some cold-hearted capitalist put a hotel on it? Or those times when someone tells you to go directly to jail, and so you go there, desperately rolling die until you get doubles and are permitted to leave?
We've all been there, guys. Life on the Monopoly board is brutal. But now, you can take your love/hate relationship with everyone's favourite free market-loving board game to the next level with a real-life immersive experience, hitting Melbourne in July.
Do Not Collect $200 is an 'immersive theatre show' taking place at 24 Moons Bar in Northcote, that allows participants to pretend they're real-life property fiends, equipped with nothing more than a stack of cash and a dream to build hotels on every corner. Organisers describe the event as "Monopoly meets Haunted House, Casino meets Escape Room" – so we're betting that there'll be puzzles or games to solve. They're also drawing parallels to today's society, asking participants to consider the choices they make (and whether forgoing delicious smashed avo for a chance to own property on Old Kent Road really is the best way to live) – and interrogating the reasons why some people never get to pass Go and collect $200.
Whether there'll be a beauty contest (in which everyone comes second place, of course) remains to be seen. Tickets are $22, so dig into your Community Chest and take a Chance on this event.
Who knows, maybe this time you'll actually finish a game.