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Melbourne Central 1980s ad screenshot
Photograph: YouTube

This 1980s ad for Melbourne Central is absolutely insane

Rebecca Russo
Written by
Rebecca Russo

We stumbled upon something pretty weird the other day and need to share it. It’s an advertisement for the vibrant shopping centre we all know and love, Melbourne Central, but fair warning... it’s really freaking weird. 

This ad was released in the late 1980s, before Melbourne Central was built. It’s basically an announcement for the upcoming development, showing off the city’s new ambitious commercial and retail complex. Normal enough, right? 

Wrong. As they had no actual imagery of the complex to use in the video, the directors have made the bold decision to use shots of Melbourne interspersed with what we can only assume is a crazy amount of stock footage. There’s a woman dropping papers, a bent shoe, people rubbing noses, theatre tickets, dancing cutlery… a couple furiously making out?? What!???

We just have so many questions. What’s with the random Swiss flag? What happened to those rolled out Melbourne Central carpets? Why did they show that couple making out… twice? Why does Melbourne Central not still use this song? Why, oh why, is this so funny? 

If you love old ads for Melbourne venues, check out this corker for Bourke Street Mall.

Here's hoping they bring this back for the new developments coming to Melbourne Central.

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