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13 things every Sydneysider has Googled at least once

Things Sydneysiders Google
Image: Robert Polmear

As much as we pride ourselves on knowing every single bar, coffee shop, and swimming spot in town, there are still some things about Sydney that baffle us to this day. Here are some things we’ve all Googled at least once...

1. Can you get a train to the beach?

You can get close enough. It's true, the train line wording does give the impression that you can choo-choo all the way to the shore line. Pray for the tourist who hops off at Bondi Junction in togs.

2. Where do you buy Opal cards?

Great bloody question, seemingly nowhere when you most need one. According to the Transport NSW site, Opal card sellers are rampant in this city (did this map lick the face of a kid with chicken pox on the playground to get out of school? Because same). A follow up question is: Why don’t they just sell them in vending machines at the bloody train stations? Real answer: They're trying to phase them out. You can now use your credit or debit card to tap on and off Sydney trains.

3. Where can you get takeaway grog after 10pm?

Don’t cave to Melbourne’s propaganda campaign against us, you can still buy booze Monday to Saturday in NSW until 11pm. Sure, you might want a gallon of savvy b to cry into on your lounge at exactly 11.15pm, but you can still go to a bar. Contrary to popular belief a lot of venues trade until 5am. If all else fails, cry onto the craps table at the Star for eternity.

4. Is it safe to eat fish out of the harbour?

Many people wet a line along the fringes of the harbour, there’s quite the line-up of potential catches in there too – salmon, bream, flathead, snapper, you name it – it’s a seafood buffet in there. Should you eat it though? Look, according to the Department of Primary Industries fish from west of the Harbour Bridge contains high levels of dioxins from the harbour’s contaminated sediments. Dioxins are sort of bad for you in high doses, so maybe don’t stuff the fish in a pipe and smoke it either.

5. What time can people make noise complaints about your party?

Can you imagine attending a house party in Sydney that doesn’t get shut down by the police? Utopia! Sorry to get DJ Khaled about this but “they don’t want you to win”. You can’t have loud music in the streets, they’re sure as hell not gonna let you have it in the sheets either. Officially, you can have sounds loud enough to be heard in a neighbouring residence until midnight Friday and Saturday, and 10pm every other night.

6. Can I take a dog in an Uber?

Having a pooch is tricky when you don’t have a car. How do you get them to the vet? Or the beach? Or to get puppuccinos and gossip over brunch with their girlfriends? Apparently, yes, Uber will allow you to ride with your furry mate, just give them a heads up first and the right to say “um no, I’m allergic to dogs, sorry” before you shove your precious fur baby in to their car.

7. Why do they leave all the lights on in the city offices?

Very good question. Very, very GREAT question. Why the fuck do CBD buildings do that? Googling this won’t help you, there are a bunch of armchair expert answers like, "security" (they have flashlights), "cleaners" (for 24 hours, really?), and "to stop planes from crashing into the buildings at night" (you’re basically directing them tbh), but none of these really cut it. There are also some psychological deep dives that claim it is part of humanity’s plight to assume someone else will turn the lights off leading you to think that therefore you shouldn’t bother. Basically, no excuse.

8. Can I drink in a park?

In some parks. There are restrictions on which parks you can drink in. Go for gold in Bicentennial Park, Glebe, for instance, but not in Hyde Park. 

9. Can I drink on a beach?

No. OK, there are some beaches where you can BYO, but some of the most popular ones are alcohol-free zones.

10. Where does the light rail even go?

The single 12.8 kilometre line from Central to Dulwich Hill has 23 stations along the way. Don’t worry, you were right to Google this though because most of those stations are mythical made up stops that aren’t even suburbs but have been named by the whims of the insufferable Light Rail wizards who first conjured this fairy trail into existence. Where is “Marion”? What is a “Taverner's Hill”? Why is the stop before Dulwich Hill called a “grove” when there are next-to-no trees anywhere near it? Utter nonsense, that entire line is a storybook of aspirational nonsense, much like all of Sydney’s recent stabs at infrastructure. The light rail is basically an achingly slow rollercoaster to the Star, it’s a slow march to death but on tracks. Does... that answer your question?

11. Are there sharks in the harbour?

Yes.

12. Wedding Cake Rock dangerous?

We cannot stress this enough, that rock is as crumbly as its namesake kept in a freezer for too long. Please stop Instagram influencing from atop it, you’re only influencing others to erode the frosting and perish. We're pretty sure detox teas are not keen on #clifffaceerosionfail as part of their branding.

13. Free parking in Bondi?

*Laughs forever*

Like a good laugh? Read the 15 harshest Tripadvisor reviews of Sydney landmarks.

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