With the mercury plummeting here are our top tips to get through chilly times
1. Ski on the escalators
Time to go on the piste, Hong Kong style! Unfortunately, our warm winter means we have an even lower chance of a snowfall than usual but we’ve no lack of slopes, so hit up the Mid-Level escalators and get sliding. Maybe even attempt a few cunning stunts. After making a complete nuisance of yourself, there’s plenty of aprés-ski fun to be had in Soho’s bars.
2. Freezer ice snowball fight
Again, sadly due to our lack of cold weather, Hong Kong suffers from a lack of good ol’ fashioned snowball fights. But you can desperately scrape some dubious-looking ice from inside your freezer and fashion it into a shape that’s likely to cause minimal damage. Just don’t aim for the face. And don’t eat the yellow ice. Or, alternatively, just make a tiny, sad snowman.
3. Puffiest puffa jacket contest
If there’s one item of clothing us Hongkongers love, it’s the great big puffa jacket. We stride around looking like the Michelin man, doing nothing for our figures, while secretly sweating buckets underneath. If your puffy credentials are questioned, though, it’s time for a puff-off. A puff-off involves sustained bouncing into concrete walls. Whoever has sustained the least injuries at the end will be crowned the winner of the puffiest puffa contest. Safe fun everyone can enjoy!
4. Wear a surgical mask
Who doesn’t love an ear-tugging, fiercely unattractive surgical mask to fend off the bugs? While protecting against illness, it also doubles as a face warmer, creating a delightful film of condensation around your chin and nose. Sexy.
5. Get drunk
An obvious choice for winter warming is downing copious amounts of booze. Screw dry January, you’re cold. And whisky, brandy, vodka, meths... shit, anything you can get your grubby hands on should warm the cockles. If anyone questions your dry January commitment, tell them you’re drinking for health reasons. Temporarily staving off a cold is probably more important than liver preservation.
6. Practice cold weather endurance
There’s nothing better than a temperature shock to give your nervous system a jumpstart, so test your cold weather endurance by visiting a shopping mall. You may feel a chill outside but it’s inevitably several degrees colder in the mall. Why? Because air-con. That’s why. Blasting its way through spring, summer, autumn or winter...
Why not make a scrapbook of all your memories? Wait, who actually does that and who are we kidding? Sift through pointless old keepsakes, namely photos of exes, and instead of fondly sticking them on a page to keep forever, bitterly cut them up into confetti. Then throw them out the window and proclaim it’s snowing. No-one will think you’re mental. Honestly.
8. Build a fortress
Fortress building is a childhood pastime that inevitably continues into adulthood. We build them because we’re all terrified of the horrible responsibilities weighing down on us and need escapism from time to time. Pretend your tiny apartment is an igloo fortress and hide from people. Horrible, responsible, grown up people.
9. Organise your life
Winter months mean a lot more hanging around the house, so why not make a few lists to get your life in order? Make lists of whatever you need to do, things you need, things you like, things you dislike, things you need to change. Then make a list of all your lists and have an existential crisis because the lists have made you realise your life is a shambolic mess. Yay!
New year, new me, blah blah blah. Buy a gym membership. Go to the gym twice. But don’t discount the invaluable exercise gained from journeying repeatedly up and down the stairs to your God-only-knows-how-many-floors walk-up. There’s no better way in Hong Kong to get you warmed up and working off all that winter flab than that unavoidable ascent.