If you're looking for adult nights out in London, you won't be disappointed. Whether you're into fetish nights, kink nights, BDSM nights, rubber nights, leather nights or gay adult nights, the capital has you covered. Here's our pick of the grown-up London clubs that are fun, friendly and as full of surprises as a glory hole. Fasten your seatbelts... it's going to be a bumpy night.
Rubber Cult is the UK’s only total rubber event – nothing but latex is worn by guests, staff, models in the fashion shows, and performers in the cabaret. The club space incorporates photography and exhibitions from artists specialising in rubber-themed images. There is rubber fetish play equipment, a rubber dungeon, and rubber medical installations.
Music is kept low so that attendees can chat about their love for rubber. From total incapsulation outfits to itty bitty bikinis, you can don what you like – so long as it’s made of rubber. There’s even a shining service to make sure your rubber is polished and so shiny that it makes Mr Sheen green with envy; silicone sprays are banned, as with so many people walking around in rubber, they could make floors and surfaces dangerously slippery.
Basically, Rubber Cult is all about RUBBER. Got that? We’ll stop rubberting on about it then.
More information here.
The big one. The world’s largest fetish and fantasy club, started in 1990, a visit to Torture Garden (affectionately referred to as TG) is considered a rite of passage for those wishing to explore and expand their sexual horizons.
It’s worth going just to look at the fashions; the dress code states that attendees shouldn’t even bother queuing for entry unless they’re wearing something that would turn heads and elicit stares on the street, so partygoers’ costumes will have your eyes on stalks (although that’s not where the ‘Garden’ name comes from; it’s a reference to a dark French novel about a sadist who likes to watch such horrors as flayings and crucifixions, juxtaposed against a beautiful outdoor setting in China).
Music is varied, more smoothly mixed than a masterchef’s crepe batter, and guests actually dance in addition to playing in the dungeons and dark rooms; look out for TG founder David on the decks, as well as manager Charlotte and the excellently energetic Rockit Riyad.
The stage shows are the stuff of lewd legend: Dita von Teese made her UK debut at TG; there are frequently hardcore body modification and manipulation demonstrations featuring everything from extreme piercings to contortion to people being suspended from ropes attached to hooks poked through their skin; and it’s not uncommon to see fireworks been set off from performers’ orifices, paint and milk being shot out of vaginas, and lasers shining from the bumhole of a trapeze artist.
There’s all sorts growing in the Torture Garden. We could make all manner of sexual/gardening puns about rooting and shooting here, but we’ll just say that TG offers top class alternative adult entertainment in spades.
For full listings, visit www.torturegarden.com.
Photo: Dafydd Owen
Get your rocks off while listening to rock. Or industrial, punk, metal, 80s, alternative anthems – anything but the standard fetish club staples of hard house and funk.
Club Antichrist is an extremely friendly kink, dancing and live music event that’s fiercely and loyally loved by the young and smiley crowd it attracts. It has an informal and fun party vibe, featuring live bands – from steampunk groups and comedy ukulele troupes to gothic, hardcore or vocal harmony acts – and performers ranging from the silly (Smurf burlesque) to the stunning (fire hula hooping, magicians, bellydancing with swords) to the shocking (catheter shows, a chap wearing a dead swan on his back, and a bloke being covered in cold vegetable soup and fisted before having certain parts of his anatomy sewn together with a needle and thread).
Every night opens with the now legendary ‘Satan’s Strip Show’: an amateur striptease where anyone can take to the stage and perform either a practiced or impromptu routine in return for £50… but only if they get 100% nude. The uproarious, supportive applause that greets each participant reflects Antichrist’s accepting, body positive outlook and community spirit. The last time we attended, a man on crutches dressed as a rasher of bacon performed a dance that involved spanking himself with a spatula and spinning his man-sausage in a helicopter dick finale. Afterwards, we felt strangely compelled to go and buy a hot dog from the food stand in the main room.
There’s a dungeon and play areas; a couples’ darkroom; happy hours at the bar; ushers carrying trays of free sweets, condoms and lube; and a themed photobooth. If you find some other fetish clubs a bit serious or snooty, Antichrist is the antidote.
For event listings, visit: clubantichrist.com.
Photo: MarcusT Photography
Club Subversion is a long-running monthly kinky/BDSM play and dance event hosted by Mistress Absolute (a woman so supremely dominant that the sole reason gravity exists is to help men drop to their knees before her), and Bobette – a ‘girly-boy’ club photographer who’s documented the kink scene for decades and whose camera has seen things that’d probably make the Marquis de Sade need a sit-down, a sugary cup of tea and a paper bag to breathe into.
With a strict fetish dress code, Subversion provides delectably infernal dungeon equipment, medical-themed areas for those who want to play doctors and nurses, a couples’ room, chill out zones and even dressing gowns for those who want to nip out for a cig without flashing their exposed tittytittybangbangs or freezing their latex-clad wangdangdoodlehammers off. A top notch team of House Mistresses, Masters and Subs ensure that both seasoned players and novices have a mouth-watering, gusset-dampening good time.
Sub//Version 2 is a bi-monthly, play-only take on Subversion without the DJs, and where slightly more relaxed dressing is fine. Smart, all-black attire will get you through the door. With so much on offer, it’s ‘version on the ridiculous not to try either night at least once.
For details of upcoming events, visit the Club Subversion website.
Photo: Tanya Dawn
XXL is a weekly men-only club for bears, cubs, chubs, muscle bears and the guys that love ‘em. Value for money and welcoming to all ages and backgrounds, with a zero-attitude door policy, it’s been running for 14 years and still isn’t even remotely out of breath.
If you’re into rugged builder types, their ‘Construction’ nights will have you getting hard over guys in hard hats. Their ‘Tattoo’ evenings are great if ink is your kink. XXL also stage one-off parties with themes like ‘Bearbarella’, and even have their own free Grindr-style app that helps you connect with fellow partygoers and like-minded blokes.
So, should you give it a go if this is your cuppa? Do (muscle) bears shit in the woods?
For event listings, visit: www.xxl-london.com.
Run by indomitable domme and famous long-time London fetish face Miss Kim, Club Rub is a very friendly, down-to-earth annual kink party for those who like their events without snobby pretence. Well-behaved single fellas are welcome; DJs play a house soundtrack to accompany the sounds of pounds, smacks, and whacks; and there’s always plenty of play equipment such as swings and slings from which to dangle yourself and your wangle, stretchers to stretch out on while a mistress wraps you from top to toe in restrictive clingfilm, and pommel horses on which to be pummeled.
Each outing of Club Rub is themed (think Pirates & Wenches or Doctors & Nurses), and Miss Kim always gives tonnes of innovative, affordable costume ideas on her website, so you don’t have to spend a tonne to look the part. Check out her tips on how to make a gimp mask from a silk scarf – it’s not just rubber at Club Rub.
The next Club Rub is on Jan 24 at The Garage. For full event listings, visit: www.club-rub.com.
Photo: Tony Betts
This cheap and rear-ful gay/queer club, located beneath Central Station bar by Kings Cross (which conveniently offers affordable bed & breakfast if you’re coming from out of town), caters for practically every fetish in the book with an array of regular themed nights.
For starters, there’s the raunchy ‘Paunchy’ – an evening for big-bellied men and the guys who admire them. ‘A.B.C – Adult Baby Club’ is for folks into wearing diapers and sucking dummies (people of any gender and persuasion are welcome to this one), while ‘S.O.P.’ is for those into watersports. Jetskis entirely unnecessary.
‘Dirty Heels’ ticks the very specific box of being aimed at men who love to wear stilettos without being “devoid of their masculinity”; it’s fine to dress in lingerie or a suit, but wigs, make-up, and anything to ‘transvestite-esque’ is a no-no. Well, if the shoe fits, we suggest you get down to The Underground and enjoy strutting around in it.
For event information, visit: theundergroundclub.net.
Killing Kittens events take their name from the saying that 'Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten.' If that were true, the RSPCA would have shut down KK’s decadent, hedonistic sex parties a long time ago, as a whole lot of tugging and rubbing goes on at them – plus a great deal of sucking, licking, flicking, moaning, groaning, pumping, humping, and people going down on each other goes down, too.
KK is aimed at ‘the sexual elite’: if you want to attend, you have to apply for approval before you can buy a ticket: a process that includes sending photos of yourself for assessment. The club claim that they 'don’t want supermodels – just people who take care of themselves' in order to maintain an exclusive, indulgent, 'Eyes Wide Shut'-type atmosphere (and attempt to weed out weirdos).
They also aim to be ‘female-oriented’: no single men are allowed to the parties, which take place at a variety of penthouses and swish London locations, and women are very much in charge of making advances to initiate play. There’s a posh ‘masked ball’ feel to events (and plenty of unmasked balls on display, too); guests don fine lingerie, suits or eveningwear; oysters and champagne are served; and rooms are lit by candles and chandeliers, with luxury sex toys and condoms provided.
Since their establishment in 2005, the Killing Kittens crew have branched out into a number of different ventures. ‘Silver Kittens’ parties welcome over 45s; ‘Sankktuary’ retreats offer sensual yoga, tantric breathing exercises, erotic speed dating and seriously hot hot tubs in the Essex countryside; ‘Bookklub’ workshops held at venues such as Chelsea lingerie boutique Petits Bisous lecture on topics such as G-spot stimulation; cabaret nights feature fire burlesque acts and risqué performers; and then there’s Torture Kittens – a collaboration with fetish club Torture Garden that incorporates dungeon equipment and more of an S&M flavour. It’s the cat’s whiskers.
For event information, visit: www.killingkittens.com.