New Year’s Eve comedy in London

Let’s face it, we haven’t had much to laugh about this year – but chuckling is now back in a big way as London’s comedy clubs reopen. This city has the biggest and best comedy scene in the world. But where to start? Our list of London’s best comedy nights and clubs encompasses local gigs, central hangouts and theatre shows where you’ll find performances from the funniest comedians in the business, all guaranteed to raise your spirits and leave your ribs tickled. RECOMMENDED: our complete guide to theatre in London.

As the unofficial comedy capital of the world, London's comedy circuit doesn't take a break. There are stand-up shows seven days a week, from early evening through to the small hours. To help you plan your week of witticisms, here's a nifty calendar of regular comedy shows in London.

The West End's premier piss artists are taking up residence in Leicester Square Theatre for the summer with romp through 'Macbeth', featuring their signature twist: one cast member is genuinely drunk. In true improv tradition, each show is different, and the performers will go along with whatever bonkers plot twists their drunken costar dreams up.

It’s bloody hot out there, in case you hadn’t noticed. The media and Met Office are in a state of perpetual panic, as they urge people to stay out of the sun and keep an eye out for melting roads and buckling rail tracks in temperatures up to 35C. Great advice, thanks lads, but when you live and work in London it’s not as easy as jumping in the car and switching on the air-con. Inside the M25, we’re going to need to think outside the box. So, after a brainstorm, the Time Out team has come up with a few places you can go – some silly and some (relatively) serious.    1. Go ice-climbing, Covent Garden Ah, the perfect lunch break activity. Vertical Chill is a great place to... chill, for anyone ranging from beginner to mountaineer. They ship in ice from nearby snow dome complexes and house it in what is essentially a giant fridge, and the temperature inside is kept between -5°C to -12°C. What the hell are you waiting for? Pick up an ice pick and start scaling that giant slab! View this post on Instagram Today we got high on ice 🤤 #iceclimbing A post shared by Arlen Wilcox (@dothearlenshake) on Apr 19, 2017 at 2:22pm PDT   2. Cool off in a bougie cryo chamber, Knightsbridge Speaking of refrigerators, there’s a giant one you can physically walk into at Harvey Nichols – it’ll cool you down and help you beat that summer bloat. Double win! You’re submerged in -80C for three (no doubt, very long) minutes before emerging completely revitalised. Only dow

‘My main goal of the show, and my life, is to clear the name of Yoko Ono,’ says James Acaster, matter-of-factly, at the top of his show. Quite how we get there via examining his love of mariachi music, or the identities of Percy Pig’s mates, we’re not sure. But it all seems to make sense, at the time. Honest. Three solo shows in, and Acaster’s quickly becoming a reliable Fringe favourite. The Kettering-born comic is quiet, pedantic and refreshingly low-key. He's in no rush to get laughs, his shows are slow-burners, but every carefully chosen word or pause builds up to a sturdy, satisfying punchline. From Twister-etiquette to French rhyme structures, the Marks and Spencer-donning comic has a knack for flipping observational comedy on its head, studiously examining things most of us have dismissed as inconsequential. His confident, yet gawky, persona is wonderfully aloof, too. But what Acaster has mastered, which most comics fail at, is structuring an hour-long show. Seemingly throwaway jokes cleverly re-emerge, and no callbacks are crowbarred in. By the end of the hour you’re totally sucked into his minute, quizzical world, where Yoko Ono is addicted to biscuits, and Joe Bloggs is a prat. And it’s a wonderful world to visit. See 'James Acaster – Lawnmower' at the Edinburgh Fringe

Diaries at the ready: it's time to start planning your comedy year. Many of the biggest comedy tours of 2020 are coming to a London venue this year, and we've put them all into this handy planner. There's every variety of stand-up comedian in London. Check out the full list below of notable comedians on tour making their way to London in the coming months.

1. There is a lot of comedy on at the moment Okay, packing them in at The O2 is currently out of the question, but away from the enormo-venues there are now regular gigs springing up the length and breadth of London. Comedy gets less attention than theatre, but it’s probably the performing artform thriving the most in the capital right now. 2. That’s because it’s quite easy to stage a socially distanced comedy gig Theatres and concert venues *can* reopen at the moment. A handful have. But the problem is that plays and concerts require lots of people on stage and backstage. It is very complicated and expensive to socially distance them, and a distanced audience won’t bring in nearly enough money to cover costs. A comedian, though, has basically no overheads. Even at drastically reduced capacities, stand-up nights can make enough money to be financially viable. 3. You can see big names  Not everyone is gigging again. But a lot of household names, from Sara Pascoe to Al Murray, are back in action: being famous doesn’t mean they have additional overheads, and most of them are keen to get back out on the circuit again after the gloom of lockdown. 4. The gigs feel surprisingly intimate Go into a theatre right now, and the audience distancing is almost aggressively safe, albeit reassuringly so. The comedy nights I’ve visited are clearly conforming to social-distancing rules – you’re not going to be sat next to a stranger – but they certainly cram ’em in a bit more. It keeps things c

Maybe it’s his law school training, but relative newcomer Ronny Chieng is already a consummate professional. The 27-year-old comic is blunt, full of bravado and not aiming to be liked; he’s got a job to do, and he’s putting forward a strong case. Born in Malaysia, based in Australia and raised in Singapore via the US, Chieng has a blurred sense of national identity. ‘I belong nowhere,’ he says, explaining that Westerners just see his Chinese roots, and back home he’s considered ‘the whitest guy in Malaysia’. But Chieng feels passionately about his heritage and aims to change the opinion that Chinese people aren’t cool. ‘Cool’ isn’t exactly how you’d describe Chieng; he’s a permanently pissed-off germaphobe. But he smartly attacks Chinese stereotypes while mockingly reinforcing them, and just when you think he’s slipping into cliché, he’ll flip the joke on its head and find a fresh, sharp punchline. Not that race is the only subject Chieng’s an expert on. He’s a master BitTorrent user, a penis-hygiene specialist and regular IT support for his mum. We’ve all heard young comics mock their parents’ inability to grasp technology, but Chieng’s extended routine about providing tech help over the phone wins through his outward frustration. It’s this honest indifference to being liked that makes Chieng stand out. Refreshingly, he’s neither charmless nor charming. All that matters is there’s sharp comedic mind at work here – why should we need anything more? See 'Ronny Chieng – The Ro

All photos and captions courtesy Patrick Dalton. For more, visit shitlondon.co.uk or, for flotsam and jetsam from around the world, The Urbanaut.