New Year’s Eve comedy in London

To say we took things for granted before 2020 is a serious understatement. If we’d known what the future held, we’d have gathered exclusively in groups of seven or more, gone clubbing every weekend, hugged our colleagues daily and eaten at buffets on the regs. But beyond the major losses that Covid has inflicted on us, there are all the simple pleasures we thought we’d never have to go without… 1. Filling up on artisanal samples at Borough Market and calling it lunch. 2. Waking up on a Saturday morning and cheerfully realising that you have no plans for the day. ‘Ah, a rare afternoon at home,’ you say to yourself. You just can’t wait to stay indoors all day, forgoing all possible plans. Will you bake some brownies? Call your mum? Catch up on that Netflix show everyone’s talking about? 3. Planning your cultural calendar based on theatre and film posters you pass on the tube. These days it’s all ads for mattresses and iron supplements. 4. Gleefully approaching the unleashed French bulldogs, cavoodles and springer spaniels of London Fields without even a moment’s hesitation. 5. A ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’-style night out. It begins at the pub with a few mates. Friends-of-friends tag along (tomorrow you’ll wake up and hardly remember them, but at the time, you ‘really connected’). You bounce from pub to club, maybe even stopping by at a house party. The spontaneity is delicious; the hangover will be brutal. 6. Speaking of hangovers: the many buttery layers of joy that is the Pr

Firstly, David Bowie, if you’re reading this, I must tell you that I am a massive fan. Secondly, really sorry for all of the copyright infringement with Bowie Fest, but it was done with the best comedic intentions, I promise! It seems the V&A has missed out something quite spectacular in its exhibition of your life. Yes, you are an amazing musician, actor, fashion icon and cultural symbol. But to myself, and the rest of the alternative comedy world, you are a symbol of purist absurdism. With the help of the good people of Time Out, I have been given an opportunity to showcase your five silliest lyrics. To be honest, I could have picked any number of them. I love your surrealism, the strange metaphors and odd imagery. But, above all else, I really like it when things just sound a bit silly. So, here they are; all wonderful lyrics in a way, but in another light they’re super silly.

‘My main goal of the show, and my life, is to clear the name of Yoko Ono,’ says James Acaster, matter-of-factly, at the top of his show. Quite how we get there via examining his love of mariachi music, or the identities of Percy Pig’s mates, we’re not sure. But it all seems to make sense, at the time. Honest. Three solo shows in, and Acaster’s quickly becoming a reliable Fringe favourite. The Kettering-born comic is quiet, pedantic and refreshingly low-key. He's in no rush to get laughs, his shows are slow-burners, but every carefully chosen word or pause builds up to a sturdy, satisfying punchline. From Twister-etiquette to French rhyme structures, the Marks and Spencer-donning comic has a knack for flipping observational comedy on its head, studiously examining things most of us have dismissed as inconsequential. His confident, yet gawky, persona is wonderfully aloof, too. But what Acaster has mastered, which most comics fail at, is structuring an hour-long show. Seemingly throwaway jokes cleverly re-emerge, and no callbacks are crowbarred in. By the end of the hour you’re totally sucked into his minute, quizzical world, where Yoko Ono is addicted to biscuits, and Joe Bloggs is a prat. And it’s a wonderful world to visit. See 'James Acaster – Lawnmower' at the Edinburgh Fringe

In case you haven't been to one of his shows, Tim Key – poet, comedian, denim jumpsuit-wearer and Alan Partridge sidekick – reads aloud his brilliantly silly poems written on the backs of playing cards. Key very kindly let us borrow a bunch of his poetical cards to make this gallery. So flick through the slideshow below to read poems about sparrows, hanky panky, Barack Obama and more. Quick warning: most of the playing cards happen to be pornographic (don't worry, we've covered up the naughty bits). 

Glued to the television during lockdown? If you do manage to prise yourself away for a Zoom session or virtual quiz anytime soon, you can act like you’re still immersed in the televisual world by using one of the BBC’s new video-call backgrounds.  The Beeb has released a series of memorable scenes from its shows that you can now use as the backdrop to your next video chat. If lockdown has made your home feel like a prison, you can set yourself up in one of the cells from ‘Porridge’. If you feel like escaping this world, jump in the Tardis and set your backdrop to a set from ‘Doctor Who’. Missing your football fix? Pretend you’re a pundit on ‘Match of the Day’ and that the Premier League is still a thing. Lockdown turned you into a right lush? There’s an ‘Absolutely Fabulous’ scene made for your next hangout with the huns.  One of the best backdrops, though, has to be The Queen Vic. The BBC has shared seven different iterations of Eastenders’s famous boozer, spanning from 2005 to 2015. So you can play the part of Peggy Mitchell, Alfie Moon or Mick Carter, depending on your favourite vintage of soap landlord/lady.  Here’s some more of our favourite backdrops for you to get lost in during lockdown, which can all be downloaded here.    Photograph: BBC / Time Out     Photograph: BBC / Time Out       Photograph: BBC / Time Out   Need some more inspiration for that next Zoom call? Check out these public transport backgrounds from TfL.  Got quiz fatigue? Here are five other fun

All photos and captions courtesy Patrick Dalton. For more, visit shitlondon.co.uk or, for flotsam and jetsam from around the world, The Urbanaut.

  We've teamed up with Blogger The Punning Man to celebrate the fine art of punning in London. You can send your own pics to blog@timeout.com and we'll add the best to this gallery. Also, check out the Punning Man's top five London puns on the Time Out Blog.

This city has the biggest and best comedy scene in the world. But where to start? Here's Time Out's round-up of the top 20 comedy clubs and comedy nights in London that'll keep you laughing throughout the year. From the funniest local gigs, north and south, to Soho comedy nights and central hangouts, the capital has plenty of comedy to satisfy your laughter needs. RECOMMENDED: our complete guide to the best comedy in LondonThink we've missed a great comedy club or comedy night in London? Let us know in the comment box below.