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I don’t need to tell you that Easter is fast approaching. It’s the time of year to stuff your face with chocolate eggs and hot cross buns because we’re told those things don’t exist outside of this ordained period of time (it’s all lies, you know. Woolies sells hot cross buns as “spicy fruit buns” throughout the year, and Easter eggs are just regular chocolate in the shape of eggs).
But here is the thing about Easter that really gets my goat. You, like the majority of people, are almost certainly eating hot cross buns wrong. Don’t toast the crossies; microwave them.
Yes, microwave. And no, I don’t just mean defrost the bun. I mean blast those suckers on high for at least a minute to really get those fruity buns going. They’re better than anything that comes out of a crummy toaster.
You know why? It’s because a microwaved hot cross bun is how a hot cross bun is truly meant to be enjoyed. You’re bringing the bun back to how the bakers originally intended it to be eaten – straight from the oven, warm and gooey on the inside.
It’s like a brownie. Would you like your brownie burned, crisp and hard to chew? No, you like it gooey so that the chocolate melts in your mouth.
By microwaving a hot cross bun, you get softer fruits, a tangier (but not harsh) hint of citrus and a bready quality that’s similar to a banana bread.
Don’t believe me? I dare you to try it. Pop the next hot cross bun you have in the lead-up to Easter in the microwave and tell me it’s not delicious (I’ll be monitoring the Facebook comments on this post, so go ahead and give me feedback!).
And obviously, it goes without saying. Butter the hot crossie first (and I mean butter it – I want at least two centimetres thick of good quality butter sitting on that bad boy), microwave it until steam starts rising and the butter is all but melted. Wait a second, so you don’t burn the roof of your mouth (it’s a hazard, I know) and then bite down on that gooey, delicious spiced bun.
However you like your HCBs, here are the best hot cross buns in Melbourne.
Spray'n'Gripe is a column on Time Out Melbourne where we rant about things that are driving us bonkers in Melbourne right now. Here's another about kicking pedestrian crossing buttons.