The most Melbourne ways to lose your wallet

You take a deep breath as you approach the platform, adjusting your feathers and tail. You've spent months studying the laws of aerodynamics and building a flying suit. You're ready to lift off into the skies during Melbourne's Birdman Rally, everyone's favourite event of Melbourne's weirdest festival, Moomba. Helmet securely on, you run towards the end of the platform and launch yourself into the air. You've achieved the ultimate dream, human fli... oh wait. You are suddenly in the Yarra, with soggy feathers floating in all directions, a mouth full of mud and ohh... yep. That is your wallet, slipping free of your pocket and drifting down the murky depths. 

You and your four closest friends have decided to visit Melbourne's achingly hip teeny-tiny Bar Americano. The good news: the cocktails are just as good as they say. The bad news: the space is so tiny that as you try to cram into the postage stamp-sized space, you hear a rip in your pants. You don't think much of it, but as you reach for your wallet you realise that sound was your pants being just a wallet-width too wide to fit in the space. Bye-bye, bank cards and ID. You guess your mate will have to pick up the tab on your Negroni. 

You're wandering down Hosier Lane, arguably Melbourne's street-art nerve centre, when inspiration strikes. You decide to let your creativity fly free and add to the gorgeous murals lining the walls on both sides of the laneway. You don't have a paintbrush, but you do have a wallet, and creativity can't be held down with mundane details. So you use the wallet as a paintbrush, creating a masterpiece. In fact, the art would be even better if you just left the wallet there, as a testament to the temporary nature of capitalism, or something. It's perfect. 

Is there such a thing as having too much of a good time? There just might be at New Orleans-themed bar/restaurant/late-night delight Le Bon Ton, whose kitchen will serve you 50c wings, $1 oysters and delightful drinks until 5am on Fridays and Saturdays. The good news: you managed to work your way through a fair whack of brisket and fried chicken before moving onto the late-night menu and keeping the party going. The bad news: somehow while you were living the "laissez les bons temps rouler" life, your wallet decided to bail. 

It's a beautiful sunny day, perfectly 20 degrees with scarcely a cloud in the sky. You are enjoying the warmth on your bare arms, when suddenly you feel a drop of something. Then there's another, then another, and in ten seconds flat it is pouring rain and the temperature has dropped to an icy 11 degrees. No worries; you're a Melburnian, so you dig in your bag and pull out your emergency cardigan, beanie and umbrella. You're ready for anything, when the weather suddenly clears and it's humid, overcast and warm. Back into the bag go the umbrella, jumper and beanie, but in all the wardrobe changes, your wallet somehow fell out and is now swimming in a puddle somewhere in the CBD.