Look, we all know that skyscrapers are phallic by definition. (Heck, there’s even a Wikipedia page devoted to “Phallic Architecture” that cites icons like the Empire State Building.) And, of course, the rest of New York’s City’s skyline is filled with similarly tumescent “super-talls,” including the towers at Hudson Yards. Now, the design firm Wolfgang & Hite is leaning hard into this penile metaphor with a satirical series of sex-toy concepts inspired by New York’s newest neighborhood.
Branded as XXX-HY, the project features vibrators that are modeled on each of the addresses at Hudson Yards and comes with a snap-in base that depicts the surrounding site. Produced at a scale of 1/100, the set is made out of silicone in a shade of hot pink, and each piece takes advantage of its real-life counterpart’s specific features to offer different experiences for self pleasuring.
The dildo version of the luxe residential tower at 15 Hudson Yards, for example, transforms The Shed cultural center at its base into a clitoral stimulator. For those who feel that it’s not the meat, it's the motion, 35 Hudson provides a super-slender profile and tapered head, while size queens can get off with chunkier options shaped as 10 and 30 Hudson Yards, respectively. Finally, Hudson Yards’ somewhat controversial centerpiece, The Vessel (which is still awaiting its crowd-sourced name change), takes form, appropriately enough, as a butt plug that looks like it could serve double duty as a lemon squeezer if you turned it upside down.
The creators of XXX-HY point out quite correctly that architects routinely design dildos (see aforementioned), and that real estate development is often a masturbatory exercise aimed at superrich buyers with mine-is-bigger-than-yours attitude. Wolfgang & Hite poke fun at it all with their creations—which, unfortunately, won’t available at the Pleasure Chest or anywhere else.