Courtesy CC/Flickr/Susan Sermoneta
Courtesy CC/Flickr/Susan Sermoneta

Are people who FaceTime while walking down the street literally insane?

This is what’s driving us bonkers in NYC right now and making us (almost) want to move

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We live in a walk-and-talk kind of town—I get it. When I’m on my morning commute or running between meetings, you can bet your ass I’m using that precious time to “catch up on calls,” which is code for “calling my mother.” However, I see more and more people roaming the streets while FaceTiming. This behavior is unacceptable.

RECOMMENDED: See more New York rants

Listen, I can understand that the occasional tourist would want to share their trip to the Best City on Earth through the lens of their iPhone for someone back home. But this is not what’s happening here. These distracted lollygaggers are always discussing some meaningless nonsense (personally, my conversations are witty, informative and brief) with some groggy pal in a disheveled bed right here in the tristate area.

While I get the allure of a face-to-face convo, these FaceTimers are pinballing into pedestrians and completely ignoring the flow of traffic. Must I get bumped around so that you can whisper sweet nothings to your boyfriend in Yonkers?

Let’s bring back the days when New Yorkers just obnoxiously shouted into their phones with a robust disregard for others. At least then they would see where they were going.

Not all of NYC is annoying!

  • LGBTQ+

The category is: celestial! Celebrate Pride Month with a stellar (pun intended) after-hours fête of queer brilliance, featuring hands-on chemistry experiments, interplanetary journeys, collaborative artmaking and, most importantly, delicious treats and cocktails. The starry evening on Friday, June 13 is themed around the museum’s dazzling new exhibition Cosmic Splendor: Jewelry from the Collections of Van Cleef & Arpels, so come dressed in your personal embodiment of the cosmos.

There will be three floors of exciting activations, including timed demonstrations at the Gilder Center and a curated pop-up marketplace featuring goods (upcycled fashion, pins and prints, and more) from LGBTQ+ artists, vendors and organizations.

  • Things to do

The 16th Annual Juneteenth NY Festival gathers thousands of attendees in Brooklyn for a vibrant celebration of rich culture through family festivals, music, dance, history, vendors, and more. This year, it will happen over June 12-19.

Events include a Black Kings celebration, a free festival with local vendors, a parade, a fashion show, and a virtual summit.

This year's theme is "A Legacy of Resilience: Celebrating the Power of Community."

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  • Comedy

The Naked Comedy Show promises "New York's nakedest stand-up comedians." Yes, the comedians are legit naked. At this secret Brooklyn venue (you'll get the address in your confirmation email), the first two rows of audience are nudity-optional. These nights of jokes and genitals will take place on Thursday, June 12. 

Here are the line-ups: 

7pm
Rachel Green
Tony Sykowkski
Dan Martin
Olivia Levine
Andy Ofiesh (the Godfather of naked comedy!)
 
9pm
Arjun Banerjee
Josh Ri'Esgo
Julia Desmond
Marty Cunnie
Dani Riedel
Both shows are hosted by Billy Procida (bad Lifetime dating show).

Two things to note: Sexual activity is prohibited. Audience members' phones will not be allowed out during the show.

  • Things to do

At the Center for Brooklyn History on Thursday, June 12, the Brooklyn Public Library is partnering with The Guardian for a special (and free!) public screening and conversation with chief reporter Ed Pilkington, The Guardian deputy editor Lauren N. Williams and three Panther cubs—no, not baby animals but the now-adult children of members of the Black Panther Party.

More than 50 years after the heyday of the Party activity in the 1960s and '70s, Panther offspring Ericka Abram, K’Sisay Sadiki, and Sharif El-Mekki gather to reflect on the lessons and legacy of the Black Panther party as well as their own unique childhoods entangled with the activitist movement.

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  • Things to do

Come join your favorite "vintage" gays Sami Schwaeber and Jess Henderson for an evening of laughs, music, drinks and special surprises that can only come in June at this comedy show-slash-Pride Month party at Club Cumming, hosted on Thursday, June 12 at 7:30pm.

Along with Schwaeber and Henderson, fellow fabulous featured performers include Dylan Adler, Sureni Weerasekera, Allison O'Conor and Esther Fallick.

  • LGBTQ+

We don't usually put "Pride" and "sports" in the same sentence, but this year we're staying open-minded. On Friday, June 13, the Mets will be hosting their annual Pride celebration, which will include a night of DJs, entertainment, themed cocktails, free merch for the first 15,000 atendees, and of course, sports! If you want to get the party started earlier, join the pre-game party at K Korner hosted by Drag Legend Jan Sport starting at 5pm. 

Baseball fan or not, you know deep down this is an excuse to get all the girls and gays in one stadium.

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  • LGBTQ+

Queer art is under attack, which means that if there's ever been a time to support LGBTQ+ artists, it's probably now. Luckily, despite the de-funding of queer programs across the country, the Queerly Festival will be back for its 11th year at UNDER St. Mark's (94 St Marks Place) and you can expect a slate of performances highlighting queer joy and resistence from June 12 until July 3. 

Whether it's a one-woman show exploring current affairs through the perspective of two gay boys, a Drag History Hour that recounting the story of the Harlem Renaissance, or a play about a trans girl who leaves sex work to return home to her estranged mother, the performances will run the gamut from the defiant to the hilarious and heart-wrenching. Make sure to check out FRIGID's website for the full schedule and programming. 

  • Things to do

The massive foodie fest at Uptown Night Market is back in Harlem, running monthly into the fall. Expect more than 50 food, beverage and merch vendors showcasing the talents of locals in the community.

The free-to-attend outdoor event series runs on the second Thursday of the month—that's April 10, May 8, June 12, July 10, August 14, September 11, and October 9. Find the all-ages event at 133rd and 12th Avenue in West Harlem.

This super popular event draws a crowd of 8,000 people time after time for foods like Mexican-style hot dogs, tacos, empanadas, shish kebabs, and lots more.

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  • Things to do

Adults 21 years old and older can experience the iconic Bronx Zoo during after hours during this sudsy, super-fun adults-only party.

Between 6pm and 11pm on Friday, June 13 for one night only, attendees can enjoy pouring stations with 100-plus drink varieties, as well as live music, lawn games, inflattable axe throwing, animal trivia, a Retro Zone spinning 1980s and '90s hits, a Glow Party, photo opps and the chance to stroll through the historic zoo grounds and see animals from giraffes to grizzly bears.

Party animals (see what we did there?), unite! This will be a night to remember.

"Small Plates, Big City, Bigger Heart" is the ethos behind A Bite of New York, a food fundraising event that gives back. 

On June 12, A Bite of New York will be held at Glasshouse Chelsea from 6 to 9pm. The inaugural walk-around tasting event will feature bites from several New York restaurants, all in the spirit of giving back. The event benefits Encore Community Services. Founded in 1977, Encore provides nourishing meals, social service programs and affordable and supportive housing to seniors in New York, with the mission of providing independence and dignified lives. The event will support the nonprofit's efforts while celebrating the city's vibrant culinary spirit.

For the evening, six New York restaurants will be in attendance, serving curated small plates and bites. Participating restaurants include Bardough, Bond 45, Jasmine’s Caribbean Cuisine, Mamita’s Ices, Spice Symphony and Tony’s Di Napoli.  

Tickets start at $150. Sponsorship opportunities start at $500 and go up to $10,000. Reserve our ticket here

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