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Courtesy CC/Flickr/Susan Sermoneta

Are people who FaceTime while walking down the street literally insane?

This is what’s driving us bonkers in NYC right now and making us (almost) want to move

Written by
Jake Cohen
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We live in a walk-and-talk kind of town—I get it. When I’m on my morning commute or running between meetings, you can bet your ass I’m using that precious time to “catch up on calls,” which is code for “calling my mother.” However, I see more and more people roaming the streets while FaceTiming. This behavior is unacceptable.

RECOMMENDED: See more New York rants

Listen, I can understand that the occasional tourist would want to share their trip to the Best City on Earth through the lens of their iPhone for someone back home. But this is not what’s happening here. These distracted lollygaggers are always discussing some meaningless nonsense (personally, my conversations are witty, informative and brief) with some groggy pal in a disheveled bed right here in the tristate area.

While I get the allure of a face-to-face convo, these FaceTimers are pinballing into pedestrians and completely ignoring the flow of traffic. Must I get bumped around so that you can whisper sweet nothings to your boyfriend in Yonkers?

Let’s bring back the days when New Yorkers just obnoxiously shouted into their phones with a robust disregard for others. At least then they would see where they were going.

Not all of NYC is annoying!

  • Things to do
  • City Life

Brooklyn vinyl lovers are in luck because the Brooklyn Public Library’s Central Library has just opened a Vinyl Lending Library to its cardholders, giving them access to 400 albums spanning genres (hip-hop, pop, classical, country, show tunes and more) that they can listen to on-site as well as borrow for up to three weeks. You just need your library card. Listening stations can be found on the first floor. To celebrate the opening of its collection to the public, the library is putting on performances from Daisy the Great (Kelley Nicole Dugan and Mina Walker), a Brooklyn-based indie-pop duo, and DJ AG on Tuesday at 11am. BPL will also host “August Lunch Beats” in the lobby of Central Lobby where staff will spin records during the noon hour on August 11, 18, and 25. DJ Face Control will spin at 7pm on August 30.

  • Dance
  • Upper West Side

Five of New York City's leading dance companies—Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, American Ballet Theatre, Ballet Hispánico, Dance Theatre of Harlem and New York City Ballet—perform together in the second annual edition of the BAAND Festival, sharing an outdoor stage at Lincoln Center in a run that consists of five free shows. Each lineup is slightly different, but they all include a performance of Annabelle Lopez Ochoa's One for All, a world-premiere commission that features dancers from all five troupes. Admission is free and mostly first-come-first-served, but a limited number of advance reservations are available; the window for making them starts at noon on Monday, August 8. Find out more about advance reservations here. In addition to the evening performances in Damrosch Park, the companies offer educational afternoon workshops throughout the festival, by general admission on a first-come-first-served basis.

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  • Dance
  • Financial District

When the work day is over, switch to your dancing shoes and head down to The Seaport. On Wednesdays through August, Seaport Dance Nights will offer beginner and advanced dancers a floor to dance on. These nights will start with a 45-minute dance lesson led by top instructors from the Emmanuel Pierre-Antoine Dance Studio, followed by a 45-minute dance party with music from top DJs and bands. The schedule is as follows:

August 10: Country Dance Night—learn country two-step and try some line dances. Don’t forget to bring your hat!
August 17: Wednesday Night Fever—learn to boogie down to retro and modern disco tunes. Then, channel your inner John Travolta and enter a disco dance competition.
August 24: Learn to dance the upbeat, energetic, magnificent swing, and enjoy the infectious music.
August 31: Latin Night—move those hips while learning salsa, bachata, and merengue and dance the night away under the stars.

  • Music
  • Central Park

Capital One CityParks SummerStage and MeanRed Productions are hosting a special tribute to the Godfather of Soul, Mr. James Brown. CeeLo Green will host, assuming his Soul Brotha #100 alias, and will be joined by Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe. Singer and saxophonist Karl Denson will bring the house down with a message of musical fellowship and New York Night Train founder Jonathan Toubin will round out the night with his own mixed tunes.

Time Out New York readers get at $5 discount on their tickets with the code “TIMEOUT5”.

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  • Movies

As one of the fastest-growing independent film festivals in New York, Festival of Cinema has made a name for itself. In its sixth year, between August 5 and 14, the event aims to get filmmakers and their works as much exposure as possible, from all independent genres—drama, comedy, horror, sci-fi, fantasy, documentary, experimental, LGBTQ and animation. It’s back at the Regal UA Midway cinema in Queens with panels and workshops that strongly appeal to filmmakers. 

 

Harlem Week
  • Things to do

Harlem’s historic community’s rich artistic heritage on full display during this “week” that is actually 10 days of live events celebrating the people, arts, culture and food of Harlem. Themed around “Inspiration, Impact, and Legacy,’ the first week will include a salute to Harlem luminaries, featured musical performances, virtual dance parties, livestreams and cornerstone events such as the Percy Sutton Harlem 5K Run/Anti-Gun Violence Health Walk, and A Great Day in Harlem. This year’s celebration will also commemorate the 75th Anniversary of the NBA, legendary Rucker Park and Harlem inductees into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, a teen takeover of the Apollo Theater, Great Jazz on the Great Hill in Central Park and more.

 

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  • Restaurants
  • Eating

Harlem’s Uptown Night Market will return under the Arches of Harlem on Thursday, from 4pm to 10pm. The large-scale open-air market is a monthly event designed to support local makers, artisans and performers, with new participants slated to join throughout the season. When patronizing the Uptown Night Market will host vendors including Downeast Lobstah, Tacos El Guero, HangryDog, Treat Yourself Jerk, Mama Silog, Arepa Baby, and The Bronx Burger Company, Booze Scoops, Twister Cakes, Butta’s Bakery, Sam’s Fried Ice Cream, and Maryland Chicken, to name just a few. To amp up your appetite, apparel, art, jewelry and more will be available to shop from local vendors including Eastside Creations, Akijo Designs, Dejha B Coloring, ForTheCultureNY LLC, Harlem Hoopz, Moon Sage & Soul, Ariance Jewelry, and Everything Brand LLC.

  • Dance
  • Contemporary and experimental
  • Battery Park City

The free annual Battery Dance Festival, formerly known as the Downtown Dance Festival, takes place outdoors at Robert F. Wagner Park, in front of the sparkling New York Harbor. For its 41st edition this year, it is offering both in-person and streaming options. The lineup includes multiple U.S. or world premieres, and the participating companies include visiting groups from Singapore, Spain, Denmark, the Netherlands and Canada. The first seven shows are general admission, but reservations are required for the 6pm finale on August 20 (which is held indoors at the Schimmel Center). 

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The 2022 Sans Bar 12-city tour is back for the fifth year with zero-proof cocktails and community at Studio Arte (265 W. 37th St.) on Friday from 7 to 10pm. The night will include a major announcement about the future of Sans Bar in NYC and Brooklyn-based Reprive Party will get the party started with mocktails and dancing. Sans Bar, an Austin-based alcohol-free bar, says it’ll be “the biggest boozeless party NYC has ever seen.” Tickets start at $35.

  • Clubs
  • Lower East Side

Cherry Pitz and Handsome Brad return with their night of scripted burlesque (subtitled “The Home for Wayward Girls and Fallen Women”), held monthly on Lower East Side. This production sees the crew once again boldly going where no man has gone before (okay, that’s not quite true). Captain Kirk is back at Hotsy Totsy Burlesque (because of course he is) but he’s no longer allowed on Risa because of what happened last time. Cherry, wanting to give him his pick of hot intergalactic babes to party with, has asked her good friend Lwaxana Troi (Daughter of the Fifth House, heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed and the holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx) to help.

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