11 things that fill Hongkongers with rage

We’re flattered when people long to get to know us better by erm, coming into close physical contact, literally. Unfortunately, we can’t quite reciprocate the feeling since we value our personal space, be it while we’re queuing in the supermarket, on the MTR, in a restaurant or wherever.

Hungry people are angry people. Don’t mess with them. While we love hanging out with our friends over a meal and excitedly chatting about the latest Game of Thrones episode or the latest office gossip, we abhor those people who, done with their food, remain forever at their table pointedly ignoring the line of customers waiting to be seated.

When we queue for an ATM, we know what we want: either some money or to pay a bill. Others, however, seem to arrive at ATMs in a sort of fugue state, unable to recollect how they got there. They continually press different buttons for several minutes, achieving nothing, taking their sweet time and not their money. This behaviour is the incentive we need to move into a cashless society.

We’re looking at you lot, those assholes who lean their whole body on the poles in MTR trains so no-one else can grab them for balance. These poles are meant for multiple passengers and not just for you, you selfish bastard, to trap in between your asscrack. 

Remember that Mount Nicholson unit that sold for $132,000 per square foot earlier this year? Need we say more?

Don’t think we don’t notice when waiters – or waitresses – dip their nasty dirty digits into our drinks when they try to hold multiple cups in one hand. Y’know, we didn’t order milk tea with extra human essence, thanks very much. 

You know who we’re talking about: those cretins who slow pedestrian traffic by plodding along with their trollies and taking up most of the pavement. Them and the ones who roll over your toes or – even worse – brand new shoes and are thoroughly unapologetic about it. What makes us remarkably pissed is not so much the act but the attitude.

We love our AC here but we can absolutely do without the units that weep dirty water on us when we’re rushing about town. It’s actually illegal to have a unit that drips water onto the street but that doesn’t seem to prevent the problem. At least it’s not bird poo?

It might be when we get that Tinder message we’ve been dying for or those moments when Google Maps deceives us, but we hold our hands up and admit we’re guilty of this one too.

We know taxi drivers don’t have it easy but is it really necessary to be so rude? And we’re not just talking about the taxi man in Yuen Long who threatened a couple with a metal bar back in August, we’re talking about the times you get in and they refuse to take you to your destination or to accept your big note as payment.