Look alive, you miserable bunch of Grinches! It's less than one month until Christmas, and it's time to buck up your plans, floss with some tinsel and grow a big ol' pair of baubles, because Santa is watching and he's starting to find your lack of Yuletide mirth DISTURBING. It's time to inject yourself with some much needed merriment.
Fortunately we've got you covered to an almost ludicrous degree. Whether you've got presents to buy or just a craving for some turkey 'n' stuffing, here's EVERYTHING you need to know to make the most of the next 30 days.
Christmas shopping, SORTED!
233 brilliant gift ideas in our 2015 Gift Guide
66 prizes to be won in our £15,000 Xmas Giveaway
47 Christmas markets and fairs in London
20 of the best Christmas jumpers
17 perfect Christmas shops
Christmas culture, CONDENSED!
33 Christmas carol concerts
25 grottos for children to meet Santa
16 alternative Christmas theatre shows
14 fab activities for kids this Christmas
12 London pantomimes
12 festive family-friendly theatre shows
10 exciting Christmas-time gigs
9 Christmas comedy gigs
5 Christmas dance shows
Christmas consumption, curated
46 brilliant Christmas party venues
22 wintery things to do as chosen by bloggers
20 cosy winter pop-ups in London
20 London pubs with an open fire
12 ski-themed bars in London
10 most comforting dishes to eat
10 belly-warming puddings to try
9 ludicrous Christmas burgers
7 alternative Christmas dishes
And not forgetting...
50 all-time greatest Christmas movies
50 jolly awesome Christmas songs
48 photos of London at Christmas time
12 of the worst Christmas songs inflicted on humankind
9 places to buy a Christmas tree in London
8 gorgeous streets with loads of Christmas lights
...and a partridge in a pear tree!
Festive refusenik? Plan your New Year's Eve in London instead.