Reuben Kaye is bringing his loose late-night show back to Forum Melbourne for two queer, messy, fast and furious nights. We went along to one of last year's shows at the same venue – keep reading for our 2023 review of The Kaye Hole.
An irresistible cocktail of spicy, sweet and sexy, Reuben Kaye’s variety extravaganza, The Kaye Hole, had us addicted from the first hit. We were welcomed into the holy church of Reuben Kaye with open arms and naked butts. It was a delayed service, with the audience on the edge of their seats, frothing with anticipation. However, we all know good things come to those who wait (and that we queer folk are fashionably never on time).
Smiling with a devilish grin, Kaye was hauled onto the Forum stage by “the tail of Satan”. The tail, in this instance, was a rope hooked under a man’s penis, and not the tail tucked into the back of Posie Parker’s pants. Dressed head-to-toe in a ravishing red, Kaye extended the official welcome to “his hole” with a sinfully-charged rendition of 'Celebrity Skin', met with symphonic praise.
Unlike many religious/cult leaders, Kaye’s moments were laced with candid self-awareness. Addressing his recent controversial appearance on The Project, he lamented that his longing for an illustrious television career was cut short. He cooed with exposed chapless cheeks, “baby did a boo boo”, and shamed the media for “crucifying a Jew this publicly so close to Easter”.
The Kaye Hole was a variety show true to its name, as all the acts were deliciously ripe with diversity. The first cab off the rank was the comedian Michelle Brasier. In her performance of the 4 Non-Blonde’s classic, “What’s Up”, her vocals were powerful, and her adlibs playful.
The comic Jay Wymarra was then pulled in on a kiddie’s tricycle by “two white sluts” and referred to Kaye as the world’s “gayest reptile”, perhaps explaining his need to live under bright stage lights. Touching upon his Torres Strait Islander heritage throughout, Mymarra strummed out a fabulous rendition of 'I Wan’na Be Like You' from the Jungle Book, ukulele in hand and affectations aplenty.
The guest appearances didn’t stop there. Dressed as a scantily clad superhero, Bettie Bombshell showed she is as flexible as many inner-north ‘vegans’ and shimmied not only titty tassels but tooshie tassels too. Afterwards, Malia Walsh mimed a performance piece to Nick Cave’s ‘Red Right Hand’, splattering a white dress in tomato sauce in her comical take on menstrual mayhem.
Next up, was it a bird? Was it a plane? Was it one of Kaye’s lost bags? No, it was the MICF best show nominee. Jordan Gray (read our five-star review here). Gray gave us a taster of her electric show with an original song that sparked a constant current of laughter.
After being stunned into silence by the aerialist Leopold Pentland’s gravity-defying act, we snapped, crackled and popped into a frenzy over an X-rated performance to ‘Popcorn.’ The hula hooper spurted popcorn like artillery from her head before she lathered up her naked body with butter and plucked a SAXA salt shaker from her netherregions – hmm, salty and sweet.
It was a show with golden nuggets of hilarity that, in Kaye’s own terms, could be misunderstood by those unfamiliar with arsehole politics. But listen up octogenarians, the great news is, you’re never too old to learn. In and amongst all the sordid sin, Kaye left us with a very important message. “Go and see art from people that don’t look like you and don’t think like you,” he said.
In a less important message, I will be ordering bags galore and horses to boot because I never want to crawl out of this Kaye Hole.