Life can be pretty hard. Between the daily commute, the impregnable housing market and that weird hairy mole on your back (which you should probably get checked out, BTW), there are a lot of things to cause consternation. Let’s be honest, sometimes yoga and chamomile tea just don’t cut it for stress relief. You need to let loose the old-fashioned way – by smashing, whacking, shooting and throwing yourself into a good mood.
Vent all your anger safely at the Break Room, a venue that openly encourages you to destroy objects. Suit up, grab a baseball bat and head into the rooms, where you can throw, bash, smash and break plates and glassware. You can even bring your own items to smash if you’ve always wanted to destroy a certain something (the most popular items to smash in such rooms worldwide are printers, just so you know). Everything from the safety gear to the disposal of the destroyed objects is taken care of, so all you need to do is wear closed-toe shoes and get smashing.
Never heard of rap jumping? Basically think of rock climbing, then flip it and reverse it. No, really – instead of climbing up a wall, rap jumping (or forward-facing abseiling) involves running down one face-first, from a great height. In Melbourne you can get your death- and gravity-defying fix from Rap Jumping, who send people sprinting off buildings from Urban Central budget accommodation in Southbank.
After winning hearts in Sydney, Maniax opened in Abbotsford in 2018 to the delight of all those who want to have fun or blow off some steam, Viking-style. The concept is pretty simple. Pick up an axe, aim carefully, and lob it at a target. Maniax recommend that you book in groups for a two-hour session, where you'll receive one-on-one coaching session then taken through a series of tournaments to find out who is deadliest with a raw steel axe.
Arrow tag is all the fun of shooting people with a bow and arrow with none of the bloodshed. The sport is a little like dodgeball, but instead of throwing balls at the opposing team, you’ll be shooting them with a bow and arrow. Don’t worry, the arrows are specially made so they stick, rather than stab, your opponents. Head to Archery Attack in Reservoir to start living out all your Katniss Everdeen/Legolas fantasies.
Zero Latency specialises in multiplayer, free roam (meaning no pesky wires) VR games, where up to eight players work together to explore alien worlds, investigate strange disturbances on spaceships and – yes, Walking Dead fans – battle hordes of the undead. The entire experience takes place across 400sqm of flat, empty warehouse space, upon which gamers tread with headsets, backpacks and weapons. Gameplay is astonishingly immersive, so much so that overwhelmed players have been known to quit mid-game (the staff appear to take this as a compliment).
There’s nothing like shooting a couple of your mates with tiny, colourful pellets to unwind and relax. Delta Force Paintball in Dingley (near Moorabbin Airport) is one of the biggest paintball providers in the world, with locations across Australia, New Zealand, the UK, Canada, Sweden and the Netherlands. The Melbourne course is notable for featuring movie set-style setups where you can duck and dodge in ancient Egypt, the Wild West or even right next to a real USAF aircraft.
Roller derby is a contact sport that combines speedy wheels, agility and hilariously punny derby names (think Beyonslay, Assault and Pepper and Hermione Danger). It’s played by two teams who skate counterclockwise around a track trying to pass each other, get in each other’s way and knock each other out of bounds. Yes, you will fall over, get hit and end up with bruises but also have a lot of fun. Try it for yourself at South Sea Roller Derby, Northside Rollers, Westside Derby Dollz, East Vic Roller Derby.
Bounce is a springy land of pure joy. You'll find the Essendon location inside an impressive heritage-listed hangar where you can unwind with regular trampolines, dodgeball courts, basketball hoops and giant airbags, but in addition, the Essendon location is the first to get the one and only Super Tramp. Yep: this five-metre monster is the biggest in Australia, meaning that if you've ever dreamed of going to the moon, this might be the closest you'll ever get.