Things that make Hongkongers mad when it rains

Apparently, 14 million of those ridiculous umbrella condoms are dispensed every rainy season. Considering that they're pretty pointless, end up jamming every bin in sight and are an environmental disaster, it’s time we accept a few drops of water indoors.

When you hold an umbrella, it is, in fact, possible to extend and/or retract your arm to adjust the umbrella’s elevation. What’s the take away here, you ask? You can walk along the street without poking anyone in the eye. 

You're waiting it out at the entrance of the MTR station till the rain eases off – seems like a savvy idea. The problem comes when 20 other people have the same thought. It creates a faux human wall that stops anyone else getting in without having to barge through a tightly packed human scrum. 

This one’s kind of ubiquitous. It's a classic, an infuriating classic. The difference here is simply volume, the rain properly floods down our streets, and given how little room there is to manoeuvre...

Even a modicum of rain seems to turn our city’s shopping malls and MTR stations into ice rinks. Rain’s not a new fad. You’d think grip would be a consideration when they plan these interiors but alas, looking sleek trumps a walkable surface.

We’re civilised people here. If you lose something, chances are it will find its way back to you thanks to the staunch sense of civic duty inherent in Hongkongers. That all goes out the window when the rain comes and people show their true colours. A simple trip into Wellcome can quickly turn into Taken as your prized umbrella is whisked away by some gangster.

“I have to charge you extra because my insurance doesn’t cover driving in black rain.” Pull the other one, mate. We’re no mugs. While we applaud the industry of our city’s taxi drivers, those who try and rip citizens off are the worst.

Never forgot: Your sheathed umbrella retains a formidable amount of water. It stands to reason then, when you suddenly spring it open, said water will be sprayed everywhere.

Seats are for humans, not your stupid wet, drippy umbrella. Thanks to your umbrella getting the royal treatment, others now have a wet bum and look a fool. Anyone who does this is a horrible person and who deserves to have their umbrella confiscated.

Don’t you hate those people who’re obsessed with the weather. It dominates their conversations, thoughts and website. It has to stop – after this article.