The most quirky restaurants in London

Sitting at the summit of a staircase in funky shipping container park Pop Brixton, Alpes is all very après ski. Outside there are blankets and stools; inside you’ll find retro skis on the wood-panelled walls. Cheese is the headline act here. Try the fondue savoyarde (gruyère, emmental, raclette) – unctuous molten brilliance in a cavernous saucepan, with unlimited baguette and gherkins – or plump for the raclette savoyarde. 

How much? Meal for two with drinks and service: around £100.

Remember when gap-yah bores dined out on tales of deep-fried insects? Well, that’s nothing compared to the menu at determinedly quirky Archipelago, which features everything from smoked python carpaccio and ‘love bug’ salad to weaver ant garnishes served amid a riot of anthropological artefacts straight out of ‘Indiana Jones’. Make sure you check out the pan-fried chermoula-spiced crickets.

How much? Meal for two with drinks and service: around £100.

As the name suggests, Attendant’s previous incarnation was an altogether different place to spend a penny. Abandoned since the 1960s, this former WC has been repurposed as a hip café with urinals as single-seater booths and an admirable (but perhaps wise) absence of scatological puns. It’s also open for lunch, where you can sample the exotic sharing platter – with crocodile, alpaca, kangaroo. 

How much? Sandwiches and coffee for two: around £20.

Housed in two big railway arches right next to Shoreditch Town Hall, this trendy biker cafe serves up a hearty menu, from the beef burger to pulled pork in a brioche bun. For the veggies, there are plenty of options like the mac and cheese or the superfood salad. Grab a seat in one of the red leather booths and take in the faint smell of engine oil, or browse the choppers parked outside. 

How much? Meal for two with drinks and service: around £50.

This place is immediately unusual: it’s a Soho restaurant that takes bookings. But there’s more – its art deco interiors are so lavishly decorated that you feel like you’re on a film set. And on top of that, there’s a special champagne button by each table that can be used to summon up more fizz. Just don’t nudge it by mistake. While you’re in, grab a chaser of celebrated dessert wine Château d’Yquem. It’s a steep £36.50, but BBR is the only UK restaurant officially endorsed to sell it by the glass.

How much? Meal for two with drinks and service: around £150.

This Soho take on the Hong Kong phenomenon had fans queuing around the block when it opened. But what exactly is a bubblewrap? Essentially, it’s a freaky egg waffle: the bobbly batter forms a cone that’s filled with ice cream, fruit, chocolate and whatever else takes your fancy. Expect to queue, take out and eat on the street. With a weekly-rotating menu, you can gobble up everything from matcha to strawberry cheesecake (plus toppings and sauce). 

How much? Waffles start at £5.99.

An outrageous party-time homage to Silvio Berlusconi, Bunga Bunga is big, brash, brassy and enormous fun. If you’re planning to eat, come with a sizeable group, sit in the crowd-pleasing brasserie (Bungatini) and get stuck into the trattoria menu before heading downstairs to Bunga Bunga proper for cabaret and burlesque. The pizzas here are seriously good – and they’re served by the metre. Check out the just-as-quirky branch in Battersea, too.  

How much? Meal for two with drinks and service: around £60. 

Batik textiles, colourful masks, incense and acres of carved teak spell exotic romance at this self-styled ‘Thai-Malay’ favourite. Its unique offering, however, is a private table à deux on the mezzanine, accessed by a ladder – watch your waiter negotiating it, plates in hand. This place serves up plenty of vegan and veggie dishes such as crunchy green papaya salad with crisp tofu, pomegranate som tam and roasted cashew nuts.

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £85.

It’s a whole damn restaurant dedicated to the good stuff: dairy. The Cheese Bar is from the street food gods behind The Cheese Truck. Go wild on baked camembert, queso fundido and more oozing toasties than you can shake a mozzarella stick at. Or plump for the poutine with chips, cheese curds, a fried egg, candied pancetta and bacon gravy. Sweet cheesus, it’s going to be gouda.

How much? Meal for two with drinks and service: around £60. 

Those nitro-fuelled experimentalists at Chin Chin are the Willy Wonkas of the ice-cream world, and this Soho shop is an ostentatious showcase for their wares. Not only their signature ices, but also full-on desserts – there’s some seriously elaborate stuff going on here amid all the bells and whistles (try the decadent tiramisu sundae).

How much? Ice creams from £4.45, desserts from £5.45.

The clue’s in the name: performers attempt to distract you from your dinner with feats of bravado or boldness ranging from fire-eating to burlesque – sometimes both at the same time. Between acts, you can return your attention to the kitchen’s pan-Asian dishes. Sounds daft, but don’t miss the entertainment – acts are short and take place hourly, so you don’t want to be stuck in the loo.

How much? Meal for two with drinks and service: around £110.

Anyone who’s ever had that ‘what would your last meal be?’ conversation will get a thrill out of dining at HMP Brixton’s training restaurant, where the professional-level kitchen and smart, buzzy dining room are staffed by prisoners working towards qualifications in catering and hospitality. Alcohol doesn’t feature anywhere on the menu, so go for the mocktail of the day instead. 

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £90.

When 24-hour licensing was introduced in the UK, we looked forward to round-the-clock craic. Not much actually changed – but at least it meant London could welcome this swanky, sky-scraping restaurant and bar with its 24/7 opening hours and spectacular 360-degree views of the capital. Decadent favourites include the spicy ox-cheek doughnuts with apricot jam, the foie gras crème brûlée or the signature salty-sweet ‘duck and waffle’.

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £130.

Not only are all the staff at this Clerkenwell restaurant registered blind, but they also have the upper hand, because your entire meal takes place in darkness. Even locating – let alone using – your knife and fork can be a challenge. Also, you’ll need to switch off all light-emitting devices: no selfies here. Opt for the ‘surprise menus’, where you’re left to guess exactly what’s on your plate (you can look at the menu on your way out). 

How much? £63pp for a three-source ‘surprise’ meal with a glass of wine. 

Everything on the menu at this bizarre restaurant contains garlic – ‘you can always order extra garlic, but never less’, warns the blurb. Expect to be fully ‘marinated’ by the time you’ve polished off the desserts (yes, they contain the pungent stuff too – kladdkaka, aka Swedish mud cake, with garlic toffee sauce, say). At least five of the shots on the 101-strong list have also succumbed to garlic overload. 

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £60.

Billed as ‘London’s only floating Negroni bar’, you can sail down the Thames and take in the London sights while chomping down on this seasonally-changing menu – chicken ballotine with pear barley risotto, for example. From the team behind Bateaux London, it’s all about the fancy stuff here, with all-glass walls, Tom Dixon-designed interiors and even live jazz on Sundays. 

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £120.

Located in the crypt underneath St Matthew’s Church in Brixton, Gremio takes the idea of ‘underground’ quite literally. Churches always offer their own unique atmosphere, and the vaulted brick roof and flickering candlelight inside this tapas bar doesn’t hurt matters either.  The menu is crammed with porky delights such as jamón croquetas, butifarra (Catalan sausage) and cochinillo segoviano (roast suckling pig). 

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £75.

Long before we all had touch-screen devices chock-full of apps on the go 24/7, there was Inamo. Its touch-screen table menus still offer a dose of fun, especially for kids – you can view and order dishes electronically, alter the restaurant’s playlist, and even book a cab home. Check out the Asian-leaning fusion dishes such as sizzling chilli tofu – perfect candidates for a bit of bragging on Instagram.

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £80.

Unlike 99 percent of London restaurants, this cut-price lunchtime bolthole couldn’t give a toss about its looks. There’s a strong staff-canteen vibe about the place, but that doesn’t put off in-the-know office workers who come for the freshly prepared, astonishingly cheap and pleasingly authentic curries. It’s all about the veggie delights here, such as dahi vada and egg curry.

How much? Meal for two including drinks: around £12. Weekend set menu £9pp.

Take your average ice-cream cone, add some lurid-green matcha soft-serve ice cream, top with oreos, choc chips, sprinkles and the like. And then – here’s the good bit – watch as the servers weave a web of candy floss around it all. This Taiwanese invention has had tourists tripping over themselves to get through the door. It’s all very Instagram-savvy. 

How much? Prices depend on fillings and toppings, but reckon on £5+ per cone.

Never has a restaurant been so relieved to lose its Michelin star – described as a ‘curse’ because it raised expectations of what is essentially a high-end, hippy-chic garden-centre restaurant. Take your seat in the greenhouse, enjoy the herb-laced, petal-strewn dishes, and don’t let the dirt floor scuff your Manolos. While you’re there, have a stroll around the gardens, with an obligatory selfie stop. 

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £100.

A Chinese hotpot hotspot promising DIY dining to the max, Shuang Shuang is fast and mega-healthy too. Here’s the drill: choose your flavour-packed broth, add a dipping sauce, then cherry-pick some kooky ingredients from the kaiten that snakes around the gleaming white-and-steel space. If you’re picking and mixing ingredients, be sure to choose the luncheon meat and the cuttlefish buns.

How much? Hotpots from £9.60, all-in set deals from £30 (for two).

What’s quirky about it? A Chinese hotpot hotspot promising DIY dining to the max, Shuang Shuang is fast and mega-healthy too. Here’s the drill: choose your flavour-packed broth, add a dipping sauce, then cherry-pick some kooky ingredients from the kaiten that snakes around the gleaming white-and-steel space.

How much? Hotpots from £9.60, all-in set deals from £30 (for two).

Like the rest of this luxe Mayfair extravaganza, Sketch’s velvet-clad dandy-esque Gallery is a lesson in more-is-more eclecticism, complete with semi-permanent exhibitions from high-profile artists like David Shrigley. Afternoon tea in this decadent pink boudoir is one of the quirkiest in town. Don’t miss a trip to the cluster of egg-shaped toilets, where birdsong piped into each pod will preserve your dignity as you pee.

How much? Afternoon tea from £59 per person (£73 with champagne).

Whatever your take on Russell Brand, you can’t fault the campaign he successfully backed to save Hackney’s New Era estate from being sold to developers – or his self-funded, not-for-profit community café, which employs recovering drug addicts. Pop in for a shot of caffeine and a side of Russell-style revolution. Brand fans might even catch a glimpse of the man himself – he occasionally uses the café for meetings. Also, the menu is mainly vegan.

How much? Meal for two: around £18.

Missing the ski season? Head down to The White Haus for three floors of rustic decor – we’re talking cuckoo clocks, wood-panelled toilets and even a vintage cable car. There are plenty of cosy corners, too, and the food is suitably après ski – think cheese fondue and schnitzel, alongside Italian classics like pizza and lasagne. It’s also got £6 lunch specials and an Alps-inspired breakfast/brunch menu. 

How much? Meal for two including drinks and service: around £90.

It may look like your average trendy Shoreditch café, but everything you eat and drink at Ziferblat is free – you merely pay for the time you spend within its walls. The idea’s based on Russian community centres, with group discussions and idling actively encouraged. Pick up a stop-clock at the counter to keep track of the passing minutes. It also puts on special events including board game nights, creative writers’ meet-ups and music jams.  

How much? First hour 7p per minute (£4.20); after that, 4p per minute (£2.40 per hour).