Football can be a cruel mistress. But it’s not all doom and gloom
The Fifa World Cup has arrived and although the quality has been inconsistent, there have been stunning shock results – we’re looking at you, Germany and Argentina. No doubt this has left fans who were expecting an easy ride to start feeling the urge to change nationalities. But fear not, there’s no need to wallow in misery as we’ve devised some sure-fire ways to cheer yourself up if things aren’t going your team’s way in this year’s World Cup.
RECOMMENDED: Still wanting to punish yourself by watching the action? Check out the best places to watch the World Cup in Hong Kong. Or if you need to drown your sorrows instead, grab a drink at one of the best bars in the city.
For a small fee, you and your group of disillusioned countrymen can sign up to Power Soccer for weekly indoor games. We’re certain that after a couple of exceptional performances, word will reach the coach of your chosen national team and you’ll get that call-up. Or, if you’re not the best, it’s still likely so much fun that you’ll forget the ineptitude of your country’s professional sportsmen.
If more sports isn’t the solution you’re seeking, enjoy some violent catharsis at Hong Kong’s one and only ‘rage room’, Ikari Area. Here, you can pay for the unique pleasure of being handed a baseball bat and smashing shit up. We’re certain it’s better than rising above your anger and dealing with it like a grown up.
Perhaps the divine can help. If people can call on him for a helping hand with their Mark 6 chances, we think it’s fair to implore Che Kung for some help with your football team. Go visit the big man at his temple in Tai Wai – a popular site for those seeking good fortune during Chinese New Year – and see what can be done. Failing that, a Mark 6 win probably wouldn’t go amiss either.
Sometimes a little bit of perspective is all you need. Looking down at Hong Kong in all its majesty as you tackle one of our city’s most amazing hikes can help you redress the emotional balance that 11 absolute donkeys in a football shirt so shamefully upset.
Sometimes, especially if your country’s just taken a surprise battering, it’s better to just completely remove yourself from society to avoid the torturous words of victorious supporters. Instead of just hiding in a normal hotel, which is clearly boring, we suggest one of these bad boys replete with excellent spa facilities. You’ve probably spent a good amount of time frowning, these hotels will have a cream or salve for that.
The heartbreak just isn’t worth it. Why not take up and follow a sport that’s generally less stressful, like darts? Get your foot in the door and acquaint yourself with one of Hong Kong’s many fab darts bars and enjoy your new life as someone who’s completely apathetic to football.
Let’s be honest, reality’s for chumps. The real winners in this world are the ones parked in front of the TV with a remote by their side, plugged into a virtual world, or swanning around a video arcade spinning a bag of coins around like the coolest cat in town. Why not be like them, buy yourself a game console and live to create the scorelines that you feel should have happened.
Here are our top picks for places to soak up the atmosphere and savour the action from Russia.
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