Big fun for big kids in London
Remember the indoor playgrounds of your childhood? Well, the humble ball pit has been given a grown-up makeover at Shoreditch’s Ballie Ballerson. Here you can frolic with your friends while scoffing Nutella pizza and sipping confectionery-inspired cocktails – all the while up to your eyeballs in, well, balls. BB is open till 2am on Fridays and Saturdays, with tickets starting at £5.75.
Fancy hurling yourself down the world’s tallest and longest tunnel slide? The Slide at the ArcelorMittal Orbit opened in 2016 and remains a sell-out success. It’s 178 metres long (that’s a clammy-palm-inducing 584 feet) but will take you a mere 40 seconds to shoot from top to bottom. The ride has 12 turns along the way and ends with a satisfying 50-metre straight run to the ground. Tickets cost £16.50 for adults, which includes access to the ArcelorMittal Orbit, Anish Kapoor’s glorious mirrors and a peek into the London Stadium itself.
Get to grips with the world’s fastest and longest inner-city zip line. Zip Now London is open until September 9. Launch yourself from an impressive 35 metres up (that’s the height of nine double-decker buses, in case you’re wondering) before drinking in glorious views of Westminster and Battersea as you sail, hawk-like, through the air. A truly bracing way to appreciate the city. Tickets for adults cost from £22.50.
You may not have practiced hitting balls in a batting cage as a kid but you’ve almost certainly watched kids doing it – in American movies and sitcoms. If you feel that you missed out on a sporting rite of passage, fear not: it can be done right here in London. Just head over to Sluggers at Roof East in Stratford, where you can thwack those baseballs to your heart’s content. Book a cage (accommodating six people) for £54. Sessions last 40 minutes.
When you’re a kid, there’s nothing more thrilling than a good old-fashioned sleepover. PJs, a stack of movies and a tub of ice cream are the recipe for simple pleasure. Take this tried and tested formula to the next level at The Prince Charles Cinema, where you can snap up tickets for one of its all-night movie marathons (pyjamas optional). ‘The Lord of the Rings’ nuts, Disney fans and horror buffs will all find a movie bonanza to sate their appetite. Tickets cost £20. Filmgoers are allowed to bring their own snacks and drinks (but not alcohol or noisy/smelly foods).
Make like House Of Pain, and jump around on 150 grafted-together indoor trampolines at Oxygen. There are fitness classes and family-friendly bookings as well as a swish mezzanine café where you can chill out and watch other people make total tits of themselves. The coolest option by far is the ‘freejump’ session: for just £12.50 an hour you can flip, giggle and spring unfettered across the entire 27,000-square foot space.
Relive those blissful last days of term at Draughts, the arch-based home of retro tabletop gaming. Set your brightly coloured hippo avatar to work on those crazy spinning marbles and the beast with the fullest belly wins (in case you needed reminding of the rules). If this makes you weirdly peckish, there’s a tasty array of salads and charcuterie, plus a fridge full of craft beers. And for when it all kicks off later, there’s always Buckaroo…
The adult breakfast bowl can be a bland affair: muesli is dry, granola is lame and porridge is for peasants. So relive the colourful brekkies of your childhood with one of Cereal Killer’s fun flavoursome fusion ‘cocktails’. Our top tip is the ‘Double Rainbow’ (£4.70): Froot Loops, Fruity Pebbles, marshmallows and strawberry milk.
Ace craft beer types Brewdog have recently opened what they describe as an American dive bar in the basement of their Shoreditch bar. It’s called Two-Bit and is packed with retro arcade games and pinball machines, including one themed around the lives of Metallica’s thrash-metallers (we know). Get in line for a bash at ‘Space Invaders’.
Rabble’s health-conscious premise is brilliant: solo exercise is boring, so why not play games instead? Participants charge around London green spaces like Hyde Park and Clapham Common playing ultimate frisbee (and other knockabout classics like dodgeball), unwittingly running a few miles while they’re at it. Plus, they make friends and attend social events ranging from laser tag to fancy-dress parties.
If your folks were twee enough to bake biscuits, then as a nipper, you no doubt strapped on a pinny and ‘helped’. Meaning you trod dough into the carpet and licked the spoon. The adorable Biscuiteers have a more civilised proposition: a monthly biscuit-icing masterclass decorating pre-baked treats over a glass of prosecco.
Did you enjoy an idyllic, Enid Blyton-esque childhood shimmying up stout, ancient yews? Or, like me, spend your summers dangling from grimy suburban poplars? Either way, climbing trees is badass. The Great Big Tree Climbing Co will lead you and nine others (per session) into the canopy of a whopping great oak at Ally Pally, and supervise braver souls on a ‘branch walk’. Ropes provided (phew!).
What happens when you mix the best thing about childhood (Lego) with the best thing about adulthood (cocktails)? A booze-fuelled robot-building competition, that’s what. The rules are simple: 1) form a team of no more than five people 2) make something that looks vaguely like a robot 3) give it a name and a special skill. It will then be judged while you get pissed. Sound nerve-wracking? Fear not: your opponents will be bricking it too. Check their website for details.
Nineties kids wistfully recalling the days of playing ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater’ have had their nostalgic prayers answered by House of Vans. The skatewear brand opened a Californian-style indoor skate park a few years ago. Open to all, it’s discreetly tucked beneath Waterloo station. Entry is free but ticketed, with sessions limited to two hours. Strap on those elbow pads – time to relive your teenage kickflips.
Venue says This week at House of Vans: we celebrate the 15th Anniversary of Clash Magazine by hosting their annual Spring bash. Last few tickets going!
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