2. Beginning at Flinders Street Station, see how far you can make it underground through the CBD. Start with the Degraves Street Subway and Campbell Arcade (while you still can – it might be destroyed to make way for the new Metro Tunnel).
3. Knit yourself a woolly scarf. Thread Den, Wool Baa and Morris & Sons can help you brush up on your skills, and many wool merchants host in-store stitch'n'bitch classes so you can buddy up with fellow knitting nerds in the process.
4. Hot water, hot water, hot water. When you’re chilled to the bone nothing beats a hot soak or sauna. Try Collingwood Japanese Bathhouse, Onsen Ma in the city or Peninsula Hot Springs if you fancy a day trip.
5. Rug up, whack on your waterproof gear and go on a hike.
7. Get your hair wet-set. The vintage crew will know what we’re talking about, but for the rest of the world, it involves getting your hair in rollers and hanging out at length under a drying hood – it’s a toasty experience. For a warm head and soft curls Lana Turner style head to Margeaux Valantyne at the Distinctive Dame.
9. Enjoy a brew (a beer, not a tea) at one of our fine drinking establishments – replete with open fire – we know exactly where to go.
10. Shoot stick. Pool’s the indoor sport of the gods and there’s no better time to indulge than when the weather’s cruel. Head to Red Triangle Snooker Room: you can get a table of your own for a measly $16 bucks an hour.
11. Get slurpy. We've ranked the best noodle soups in Melbourne – nothing like a steaming bowl of ramen or pho to warm your insides.
12. Rug up and get down to the 'G for a game of footy – hot doughnuts compulsory. Alternatively, hunker down and watch the game over a pint at one of Melbourne's best pubs.
15. Warm the cockles of your heart with a parma.
17. Pretend you're in Europe by pulling up a stool at one of the CBD's laneway bars or cafés on a cold afternoon. Wine or espresso, your choice.
18. Embark on a marathon board game tournament at home or in a bar with board games.
19. Stomp around in your gumboots at the Collingwood Children's Farm, then head to the Farm Café for some warming baked beans.
20. Become obsessed with hot alcoholic beverages. We're partial to savouring a spicy mulled wine.
22. Make like a fancy lady or gent and have a spot of high tea. Scones, warm tarts and warm brews are just the thing on a cold day.
23. When all else fails, have a doona day and just hang in your PJs. Visit Masini & Chern for some classy sleepwear.