Things to do in Melbourne this week

You have to stay at home to watch the Grand Final this year, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy a proper feed. These Melbourne eateries have pies and a lot more to offer you. All you need to do is pop your Sherrin on your lap, don your fanciest jersey, get your remote in one hand, and occupy your other hand with some of Melbourne’s best footy takeaway options.

Curious to try Melbourne's inland surf park? Urbnsurf is reopening on Wednesday, October 21 to guests who live within 25km of the park. In line with current restrictions, a maximum of 30 surfers will be allowed on each side of the wave pool (60 in total) per hour. One hour surf sessions can run as normal, but guests are asked to maintain 1.5 metres from each other. You'll still be able to hire surfboards and wetsuits, as they will be sanitised after each use.

We are big fans of advent calendars. Why limit yourself to gifts on Christmas Day when you can have gifts every day for 24 days? And although small chocolates or toys are pretty good gifts to receive every day, we think we can do one better. These advent calendars are filled with wine, beer, gin or whisky. That seems like an even more festive way to count down to Christmas. And after the year we've just had, let's face it, it might be time for a drink, or 24.

Many of us have taken up (and yes, sometimes put back down again) iso hobbies, and one of the more popular sports people have decided to take up during this time is roller skating. But once you've put wheeled shoes on your feet, what then?  There are video tutorials, but if you want an actual human to give you instruction via Zoom, South Sea Roller Derby is running a six-week learn-to-skate course. 

The worst part of a horror movie is the anticipation, of what you can't see, of what's lurking around the corner or hiding in the closet. Innovative radio play creators Darkfield Radio have taken it one step further, with no visuals at all and only a precise soundscape and your own terrifying imagination to bring the scares. Darkfield is the company behind immersive soundscape experiences Séance and Flight, which took place in physical shipping containers around the city. In the former, participants were immersed in the world of a séance that summons more than anyone bargained for. Now Darkfield is back with a new show, Visitors, to turn your comfortable home into a haunted house. 

Multiple butchers, bakers, grocers, fishmongers, artisans and snack stands make South Melbourne Market one of the best fresh markets in the city. The markets have been running for more than 150 years and, like the Queen Vic, are as much a tourist destination as they are a source of fresh food. Currently, the markets are open for your essential shopping needs. But South Melbourne Market has also decided to take it all online (how very 2020!) with the launch of SMM Direct. The market now offers home delivery from many of the traders that are located within the market, making it a one-stop-shop for both groceries and gifts.

Every Saturday, drag superstar Valerie Hex is hosting a ball-dropping game of bingo on Instagram Live which you're invited to take part in. Bingo cards, pens, info cards, a cocktail recipe, instructions on how to prepare your feast and a QR code for the bingo playlist are available for contactless click and collect from Tokyo Tina on Chapel Street. Expect dishes like cured kingfish, karaage chicken, okonomiyaki, beef brisket and kimchi fried rice, plus enough alcohol for eight (EIGHT!) Aperol spritzes. Get it here.

It’s time we had a chat about panzerotti, the delicious deep-fried Italian snacks you never knew you needed until now. Panzerotti originated from Puglia, along the south-east coast of Italy. They’re otherwise known as fried calzone or a savoury turnover, and have been commercialised in North America where they’re now referred to as pizza pockets. Biting into one of these deep-fried parcels, you’re traditionally greeted by a steaming hot combination of tomato and melted cheese. The star of Il Panzerotto Taste of Puglia’s show though is the world’s first bolognese panzerotto inspired by owner Ettore Donnaloia’s mother. 

October is upon us and you know what that means: ghouls, ghost and horror movies galore. Here at Time Out we're not afraid of things that go bump in the night, but we are afraid of not being able to find a good film to watch when the mood strikes. The horror! Streaming (or should that be screaming?) services across Australia have got you sorted this Halloween, with a stack of spooky movies available to scare the bejeezus out of you. From classic horror flicks to contemporary mind trips, these are the best scary movies to stream this Halloween.

Melbourne's southside sanctuary for the arts is taking its talents online. To celebrate the end of each week (which feel like years at this point), Chapel Off Chapel is hosting a new live and interactive variety series called Friday Nightcaps at Chapel.

Every Friday at 8.30pm, audiences across Melbourne and beyond can tune in and enjoy a mix of live music, comedy, cabaret all hosted by jazz vocalist and West End star Fem Belling. The four-week series begins October 9; see the line-up of guests below:

October 9

For the inaugural show, audiences will be treated to performances from cabaret star Tash York, X Factor-winning singer Reece Mastin, comic Joel Salom and clown, physical theatre performer and operatic baritone (quite the resume) Cameron Taylor. 

October 16

This show is bound to be popular with the hilarious Nazeem Hussain headlining the show. He'll be joined by ARIA chart-topping duo Jess and Matt, Green Room Award-winning cabaret performer Yana Alana and Erik the Dog – whom you may have seen on Australia's Got Talent. 

October 23

The incredibly talented Thando will join Chapel for the third performance, with her powerful voice set to bring down the house (Zoom call? I don't know). Musical theatre performer John O'Hara, multi-talented showman Shep Huntly and actor Robert Tripolino will also star.

October 30

Australian blues royalty Ash Grunwald leads the line-up for this live episode. Magician and comedian Dom Chambers also features, with more stars to be announced. 

Tickets for Friday Nightcaps at Chapel start at $12 (which allows your entire household to tune in). You can also purchase all four shows for $40. Once tickets are purchased, you'll be sent a Zoom link to allow you to access the show on the night.  

Sarnies, sambos, sangers… whatever you call them, there is something dependable about anything wearing a bread overcoat. Whether it’s a lovingly made lunchbox Vegemite special, a bronzed ham-and-cheese toastie or an elegant chicken and mayonnaise liaison, the humble sandwich has sustained generations. Here are the best to be had in Melbourne.

Footscray Community Arts Centre is undeniably the home of the arts in Melbourne's west. In the Beforetimes, the organisation not only hosted exhibitions, performances and gigs, but they also provided a space for locals to engage and learn more about the arts through workshops. That committment hasn't wavered, and FCAC is back with a series of online creative workshops led by some of Melbourne's best artistic talents.

What are you usually doing between the hours of midnight and 6am? For most of us, the answer is probably "sleeping". If you are awake during those wee hours, however, the Nightline is calling on you to leave an anonymous voicemail as part of a new participatory artwork. The Nightline project is looking for 150 Melburnians who are awake between midnight and 6am to call its hotline and leave an anonymous voicemail. It doesn't matter why you're up or what you say – the project simply wants to hear the stories, ramblings and thoughts of those awake in the middle of the night. 

Melbourne has an abundance of op shops, all of which have been closed for some time now in line with current restrictions. However, you can still support local charities and score some nifty bargains thanks to a new initiative by Sacred Heart Mission. Sacred Heart Mission has launched a swish online op shop that stocks everything from high-end fashion to the everyday finds you might find in your local thrift store. The Sacred Heart Mission Online Op Shop combines the organisation's eBay and Instagram stores and stocks some of the most luxurious items that have been donated.

More than 50 artists are banding together to help raise funds to protect Westernport Bay from being turned into a gas terminal. Art is in our Nature is a fundraising exhibition featuring 54 artists hoping to raise awareness for the campaign to stop a proposed AGL gas import terminal from being established at Crib Point – 80km or so from the Melbourne CBD. The online exhibition features works by David Larwill, Rosie Weiss, Vera Möller, Rosslynd Piggott, Juan Ford and more, all of which can be purchased to help support the local community protect the ecosystem.

Sometimes the best medicine for several months spent working from home/living through lockdown is to have a spontaneous dance break in the middle of the day. Now, a Melbourne DJ is helping you do just that. Lunchtunes is hosted by comedian, DJ and the most enthusiastic dancer you’ll ever meet, Andrew McClelland. It all goes down on Twitch, from 1 to 2pm AEST, Tuesday to Friday.

If we’ve learned anything from two lockdowns, it’s that we all need something to look forward to. Thankfully, it’s nice to escape into a book, a movie or a television show every once in a while to give our minds a break from real life. So, here are a few things coming to Australian streaming providers in August.

Oh boy, do we miss someone else making cocktails for us. It’s just not as much fun making them for yourself at home (and you usually don’t have the same mixers/garnishes/nonchalant/flair as the pros in Melbourne’s best bars). Thankfully, Melbourne’s bars are delivering cocktails to your door right now. But for Mr West, one of Footscray’s coolest bars and bottle shops, straight cocktails aren’t enough – they’re selling 1.5-litre “bagnums” of Espresso Martinis, Negronis, and even a wine blend.

This one goes out to all the gluten intolerant Melburnians that have had to weather lockdown sans pizza. Gluten-free pizzeria Shop225 (Australia's first pizza shop to receive accreditation from Coeliac Australia) has launched a completely gluten-free cook at home pizza menu – and it's delivering to all of Melbourne.

We usually don't need a reason to buy a jar (or the occasional bucket) of Meredith Dairy's goats' cheese, but if you do, boy have we got one for you. If you purchase one of these special white lid 550g marinated Meredith Dairy goats’ cheese jars from the supermarket, you’ll be helping to deliver one meal to an Aussie in need. 

We’ve taken the hassle out of buying picnic goods from the same stores you’ve been frequenting within your 5km radius and compiled a list of ready-to-go packs that some of Melbourne’s venues have put together for you. 

From September 28, as part of Victoria's step two roadmap, Melbourne's outdoor pools are allowed to reopen. You can only travel to these pools if they are within your 5km bubble. Numerous safety and health measures are in place at these venues so please check with them before heading out as there may be capacity limits in place.

Victoria is stunning to look at, be that in real life or on film. A new series called Victoria on Film is reuniting the stars of some of the best Victorians films to give fans a fresh insight into what went on behind the scenes. Actor Shane Jacobson and ABC Radio National journalist and presenter Beverly Wang take turns hosting Victoria on Film every second Saturday starting September 26. Over the course of those weeks, Jacobson and Wang will be chatting with the stars from films like Romulus, My Father, Ride Like a Girl, The Dressmaker, Crackerjack, Mary and Max and Miss Fisher and the Crypt of Tears.

For the Poppykettle Children's Festival, running October 26-31, kids can tune in to see Trinket the Robot on demand. A production of Little Wing Puppets, Trinket is inspired by the story of Pinocchio and concerns an inventor and his assistant who build a robot with feelings, but Trinket soon has to deal with emotions like anger, fear and sadness. For more information, visit geelongartscentre.org.au. 

To keep up to date with upcoming livestream shows, sign up to Geelong Arts Centre e-news. 

At this point, you might have scrolled all the way to the bottom of the page on both Netflix and Stan. It’s not your fault – we do have a lot of free time on our hands right now. Binge is Australia’s newest streaming service, coming from the same hands as Foxtel and Foxtel Go. Binge has the added benefit of hosting a huge selection of HBO television shows, which makes it ideal for those keen to catch up on “prestige” television shows like The Wire, The Sopranos and Six Feet Under. But what else has Binge got to offer? Here are some of our favourite TV shows currently streaming on Binge.

Cinemas are among the many industries doing it very tough right now, but some of our favourites have just released some very cool merch, which you can buy to support them during this time (and look stylish AF while doing it). 

We all crave a bit of comfort food in times of strife. And for esteemed Annam and Bia Hoi chef, Jerry Mai, that means her mother’s home-style Vietnamese cooking. Fortunately for us, she’s sharing the love with the newly launched Bia Hoi at Home meal delivery. Although Mai is best known for her modern take on Vietnamese cuisine, the dishes in these kits are more traditional fare: canh chua cá (a tangy, tamarind-laced soup), thit kho trung cut (braised pork with quail eggs), beef bo kho (a hearty beef and root vegetable stew), and steaming bowls of good old-fashioned pho.

Melbourne Zoo has launched a livestream of its family of Asian small-clawed otters, and well, you're just going to have to watch it for the rest of time. Otter parents Paula (aged ten) and Odie (aged three) had a litter of four pups in February, and although it will be a little while before you can visit the zoo, you can check in on the tiny critters with the 24-hour livestream. The webcam captures their sleeping quarters, so you can watch them snoozing in a giant otter cuddle pile, which is just as adorable as you think it is.

While basically no one has escaped experiencing the Covid-19 pandemic, just how each of us has experienced it has varied greatly. Online exhibition Heartlands explores the events of 2020 through the eyes of Australia's multicultural communities, presenting digital and photographic works from five migrant or refugee artists. Heartlands 2020: Stories from the Inside features works from Ali Banan, Ammar Yonis, Chris Phung, Fatema Mukarram and Saidin Salkic, each of whom have captured a glimpse into their lives and experiences using an SLR camera provided at the start of the Covid-19 pandemic in Australia.

A trip to our favourite wine region, the Yarra Valley, is off the cards for a while as Melbourne endures Lockdown 2: Lock Harder. The Yarra Valley is itself under lockdown orders, but that doesn't mean your trip is completely off.  Six Yarra Valley wineries have banded together to create a virtual trip down the Melba, allowing you to try six lesser-known varietals, explore the region and sample some of the wineries' rib-sticking meals, all without leaving your own home.

It’s a rite of passage for most visitors to Melbourne – make the two-hour drive down to Phillip Island and see Australia’s largest colony of friendly, frolicking fairy penguins. For obvious reasons, we can’t visit those adorable penguins right now – but lucky for us, Phillip Island Nature Parks is making sure we can see those scurrying little creatures from home.

We’ve seen high tea boxes, pub boxes… and now? A box filled with French experiences you can have at home. Someone turn up the Edith Piaf, because you too will regrette rien. The Olala box comes in three different styles. Try the raclette box, which comes with 400g of raclette cheese, 1kg of potatoes, a selection of charcuterie meats, a French baguette, some pickles and onions and a guide to making the perfect raclette (yes, they’ll teach you how to make the cheese extra melty so it can be poured over your ‘taters).

The government has announced closures of restaurants and bars in metropolitan Melbourne, but takeaway and delivery services are still available. This is a list of restaurants and bars still able to offer you food from their menus, rescue packs and even produce boxes that can get you through these tough times.

Always dreamed of learning another language? Have a lot of hoarded wine and want to start boozily slapping pigments on a canvas in a Zoom class full of other tiddly painters? Well, you've certainly come to the right place. Now is as good a time as any to upskill (or sit on your butt and watch an online tutorial without moving a muscle, no one's judging) and luckily for us, many Melbourne institutions have opened their virtual doors to help us out.

You can always get primo booze delivered to your door, but now you can take it one step further with a bar crawl in a box. The Melbourne Mixtape is a collaboration between seven top bars: The Everleigh, Above Board, Bar Americano, Byrdi, Black Pearl, Capitano and Mjølner. Each has contributed a track to the playlist in the form of a single-serve bottled cocktail.

The Other Art Fair, presented by one of the world's leading online galleries, Saatchi Art, allows the average person to purchase their own masterpiece direct from the artist. Usually the event takes place in person, but like most exhibitions and art fairs in 2020, the event has moved online.

Melbourne’s had a hard run of it during 2020, going up and down on this coronacoaster that has seen us confined to our homes to assist in protecting the community. While there are many upsides to being at home more (you can walk around pantless and wake up five minutes before work) there’s no denying that many of us are missing being out and about in Melbourne. Hence we’ve gotten creative/stir-crazy and devised a series of extremely low budget ways that you can recreate some of the “most Melbourne” experiences at home.

If you were looking for upbeat films where everyone lives happily ever after, boy howdy, did you click on the wrong story. There's a time and a place for those stories certainly, but it isn't here. Instead, we've channelled our inner Nietzsche and compiled a list of our favourite films that are 100 per cent soul-crushingly bleak. From dystopian wastelands to harrowing dreamscapes, these films will not only make you feel all the feelings, but they do so with finesse and aplomb –  despair has never looked so beautiful. Misery loves company!

Sometimes you just want to do something nice for someone else. In a time when things are so up and down, getting a little surprise in the mail can mean the world to someone else. Whether there’s a birthday on the horizon or maybe you’ve noticed a friend has been feeling a little down, one of the below packages might be just the pick-me-up they need. And hey, there’s no one saying you can’t send one to yourself, too!

Beloved Melbourne brewery Moon Dog is not only offering contactless drive-throughs at both its Preston and Abbotsford venues, but it’s also bringing something new to us for Lockdown 2.0. The ‘Pub in a Box’ is a box (duh) that’s filled with all your fave pub memorabilia: there are two pot glasses, a bar mat, house-made bar nuts, two 440ml and four 330ml limited release beers, plus six of Moon Dog’s “core” range of beers.

For people living under stage three restrictions right now, it’s now mandatory that you wear a face mask when you leave your home for one of the four permissible reasons. You do not have to be wearing a hospital-grade face mask to leave home; residents can wear reusable cloth masks, a homemade face mask or a face covering (such as a scarf or bandana). So where can you get a mask in Melbourne? Many Melbourne retail stores and creatives have started selling their own.

Does anything feel a little… familiar about the current circumstances? Yes, metro Melbourne is going back into lockdown for another six weeks for what we’re calling Iso 2: The Virus Strikes Back (alternative titles include Iso 2: Electric Boogaloo and Lockdown 2: 2 Lock 2 Down). The current circumstances have got us feeling a little bit of déjà vu, which is defined as the feeling “that one has lived through the present situation before”. It’s all very familiar – so why not lean into it by watching some of our favourite films featuring time loops. 

Time to ditch the trackies and put on your fancy pants. Collins Coffee House is currently offering high tea in a box for those in Melbourne who have a hankering for scones, mini quiches and popping their pinkies out while sipping. The box comes with all the right fixings including savoury treats like roasted butternut pumpkin and sage tarts, caramelised onion and Yarra Valley Persian feta quiches, egg and mayo mini rolls, cucumber ribbon sandwiches and chicken Waldorf ribbon sandwiches. Click through for more info!

During times of uncertainty, a reliable routine can really help. If fitness is part of your daily ritual, you might be a little rattled with the fact that gyms are closed (again) in Melbourne. But don't worry, we've picked out some handy online workouts by local experts, so you can still get your heart pumping and those endorphins flowing in the safety of your own home.

Australia’s Indigenous nations are the oldest living cultures in the world, with at least 60,000 years worth of history, knowledge and art underpinning them. But while the symbols and stories of Indigenous communities are ancient, it has only been in the last 50 years that they have been shared as art. The NGV’s Marking Time exhibition examines the iconography of Indigenous nations from across Australia, and how these markings have endured and evolved through time. The best part? You can view it extensively online right now.

Usually, we’re all for people getting out and having a rollicking good time in Melbourne. However, that’s proving to be difficult this year, so you’ll have to enjoy the best of the city at home. It’s a task made slightly easier by the fact that you can now get a box of all-Melbourne goodies delivered to your doorstep. Each Melbourne Box contains five products from local makers. You’ll get something to eat, to drink, something for your home, your body and some art. The specific items are randomly selected, although you do get to choose between tea or coffee because some divides are too deep to cross.

The State Library of Victoria’s physical doors may be shut for the time being, but it doesn’t mean you can’t explore the best parts of this mega library online. Everyone now has access to the library’s massive digital collections, which includes thousands of photographs, personal manuscripts, magazines, journals, newspapers, comics, theatre programs and advertisements – even video archives. You can also access more than 19,000 ebooks, music and a huge range of journals and articles.

The humble hot chocolate has come a long way from the days of Nestle powder. We're particularly spoiled here in Melbourne, with venues taking to mugs of gooey, molten chocolate with the same sort of all-consuming fixation usually applied to coffee. Head to one of these venues for Melbourne's best hot chocolate. At the moment you can get takeaway only, but hot chocolate is surely an essential service. 

The Australian Ballet is ensuring your time spent indoors is truly en pointe. The dance company has launched online adult ballet classes that you can enjoy for the humble price of $25. The Australian Ballet usually runs its adult classes from the Primrose Potter Australian Ballet Centre in Southbank, but while it’s shut the classes are going online. All aspiring dancers can take part, with classes offered at beginner, intermediate and advanced levels.

With many of us spending more time just pottering around the house, there’s never been a better time to try your hand at being a literal potter. Although they’ve had to close their studio doors to the public, a bunch of ceramics studios have adapted their businesses so you can get busy moulding your own mugs, vases and assorted sculptural vessels at home. Go on, allow the tactile task of rolling clay between your hands to remind you of the sensation of human touch as you re-enact that classic scene from the 1990 romantic hit Ghost.

We've collected the best ways for you to experience Melbourne while staying at home here into this hub, so you can stay sane, comfortable, fed, watered and entertained at home – while helping small business owners, hospitality workers and creative people who desperately need your business.