Ranked and rated: the streets in Melbourne's Hoddle Grid

Content 5/5
Ease of transport 5/5
Usefulness 5/5
X factor 4/5

Total 19/20

Bourke Street is the heart of the Hoddle Grid. There are heaps of shopping and food options (like Fancy Hank's, Madame Brussels and Heroes), trams are plentiful, and the pedestrianised Bourke Street Mall, along with wide pavements, make it easy to navigate. It even terminates at Parliament on one end and Spencer Street Station at the other (yeah we know it continues into Docklands but shhhhh). WLY, Bourke Street.

Content 4/5
Ease of transport 4.5/5 
Usefulness 5/5
X factor 5/5

Total 18.5/20

Treasury Gardens, state Parliament, the Princess Theatre, the European, Spring Street Grocer, the Hotel Windsor AND a tram line? Oh, Spring Street, you do spoil us. 

Content 5/5
Ease of transport 3.5/5
Usefulness 4/5
X factor 5/5

Total 17.5/5

Russell Street is a bit of an unsung hero of the CBD. It has some brilliant restaurants, like Izakaya Den, and it's here to party with divey great time bar Heartbreaker, 24-hour ramen joint Shujinko, 24-hour Greek joint Stalactites (technically on Lonsdale, but on the corner, so it counts) and no-one-knows-when-it-closes-but-it's-BYO China Bar. Swanston is better known, but Russell is the hangout spot for those in the know. Plus it's the gateway to Chinatown. We're fans. 

Content 4/5
Ease of transport 4.5/5
Usefulness 5/5
X factor 4/5

Total 17.5/20

Yes, it's easy to rag on Swanston Street. Many of the shops are touristy, and the hordes of people make it difficult to move quickly. But Swanston Street is a victim of its own success. There are many fantastic eateries, the best bike lane in the CBD, and frequent trams. Plus, Curtin House is on Swanston Street! It's a whole micro-city in one unassuming building. Swanston Street is the backbone of the CBD, and we salute it. 

Content 5/5
Ease of transport 2/5
Usefulness 5/5
X factor 5/5

Total 17/20

We have to level with you: Little Bourke Street's X factor is definitely its commitment to filling our bellies with delicious food. Home to Melbourne's Chinatown, Little Bourke has more shops, restaurants, cafés and bars than you'll ever find the time to visit. The only thing letting one of our fave streets down is transport – no tram, a very narrow footpath (don't even TRY to walk more than two abreast) and a narrow, one-way street makes it tricky to navigate.

Content 4/5
Ease of transport 4/5
Usefulness 4/5
X factor 5/5

Total 17/20

Lonsdale Street wasn't always the respectable citizen it is now. The heart of the infamous Little Lon district, it once was the capital of Melbourne's red-light district, home to dens of iniquity, ladies of the night, gangsters and sly grog. The top end of Lonsdale still keeps its secrets, in the form of underground gems like Bodega Underground and Bar Margaux. 

Content 4/5
Ease of transport 4/5
Usefulness 5/5
X factor 4/5

Total 17/20

Trams, a nice, wide footpath and fewer pedestrians than on Swanston Street – Elizabeth Street only loses a transport point because of that nightmare turn onto Flinders. Block Arcade and Royal Arcade come off Elizabeth Street, and there are numerous cafés and restaurants along its length. Big fans, Elizabeth Street.

Content 4/5
Ease of transport 3/5
Usefulness 4/5
X factor 4/5

Total 16/20

Exhibition Street has some delightful gems, like 1806, MissChu and Secret Kitchen, which is one of our favourite spots for yum cha, and it's home to both Her Majesty's Theatre and the Comedy Theatre. Pretty good X factor, Exhibition. No tram costs Exhibition some points in the transport department, but overall Exhibition is sitting pretty.

Content 3/5
Ease of transport 5/5
Usefulness 3/5
X factor 2/5

Total 13/20

La Trobe Street wasn't even included in Robert Hoddle's original plan for the Hoddle Grid (it came a year later), and really, would we miss it if it had never made it? Flagstaff Gardens is a pretty big feather in the street's cap, and numerous trams make the street easy to traverse. But really, there's very little on La Trobe that we consider essential viewing. 

Content 3.5/5
Ease of transport 3/5
Usefulness 4/5
X factor 2/5

Total 12.5/20

Flinders Street gets major points for some pretty heavy-hitting residents, including ACMI, the Immigration Museum, the Ian Potter Centre, the Forum and Fed Square. There are a few good food options too, like a branch of Shujinko Ramen, which is our favourite post-Arts Centre meal, but there are a lot of pretty desolate blocks, food-wise, and there is not a lot of retail. Three trams (the 70, 75 and 35) all run down Flinders Street, but walking its length can be tricky, particularly with all the construction due to the Metro Tunnel. As for driving, well, just don't. It's a traffic nightmare that you should avoid if at all possible. Flinders Street is certainly useful for the train station, so there's points for that.

Content 3/5
Ease of transport 3/5
Usefulness 3/5
X factor 3/5

Total 12/20

Welcome to Queen Street, otherwise known as the first street in the good end of Melbourne. Without a tram line and often snarled traffic, Queen Street is best navigated on foot. Restaurants and shops start to appear on Queen, but it is more like boring old William than like gold star Elizabeth. 

Content 4/5
Ease of transport 2/5
Usefulness 3/5
X factor 3/5

Total 12/20

Sure, Collins Street seems like a pretty corporate stretch, but then when you cross over Swanston Street, two things happen. One, that hill (ugh). Two, suddenly you're in a mini-theatre district, with Melbourne Town Hall (home to the Melbourne International Comedy Festival), the Regent Theatre and the Athenaeum. Keep going, and you're at the Paris End, dahling, filled with fancy shops, the Kino Dendy cinema and the best window-shopping in Melbourne. It's a pretty good X factor. Well played, Collins Street. And yes, there's a tram, and the street's pretty easy to drive along, but our poor quads take points off in the transport category. 

Content 4/5
Ease of transport 3/5
Usefulness 2/5
X factor 2/5

Total 11/20

Little Lonsdale is a journey, not a destination. It'll take you to QV, through Melbourne Central and to the State Library. But no one wants to just hang out on Little Lonsdale Street. Plus, with no tram and a narrow, one-way roadway, it's not very easy to navigate.

Content 1/5
Ease of transport 4/5
Usefulness 4/5
X factor 1/5

Total 10/20

Spencer Street is like a sturdy pair of socks. It's useful, sure, in that it has Southern Cross Station and is one of the easiest ways to traverse the city by car (if construction isn't cutting you off). But apart from a bunch of chain shops in the weird shopping centre above the station, does it have anything you want? No, no it does not.

Content 2/5
Ease of transport 3/5
Usefulness 4/5
X factor 1/5

Total 10/20

We're letting King Street claim Melbourne Aquarium because without it things look pretty grim for King. There are a lot of strip clubs, some great bars and clubs and some OK food options, but it's not one of the more fun streets in the CBD. The connection with Kings Way, though, makes it one of the most important north-south thoroughfares for vehicles. 

Content 3.5/5
Ease of transport 1/5
Usefulness 1/5
X factor 4/5

Total 9.5/20

You might think Flinders Lane is pretty cool, but are you sure you mean Flinders Lane itself? Or if you really think about it, do you mean that the numerous arcades and laneways (Centre Place, Degraves Street, Hosier Lane) that come off Flinders Lane are actually pretty great? Intersecting laneways are Flinders Lane's X factor, for sure, but the street itself has quite a few barren blocks. Mainstays like Chin Chin, Meatball and Wine Bar and Supernormal are doing the heavy lifting from a content perspective. And we have to say, Flinders Lane, that hill, lack of a tram and a one-lane, single-direction roadway mean points off for ease of transport.

Content 2/5
Ease of transport 3/5
Usefulness 2/5
X factor 2/5

Total 9/20

Sorry about it, William Street. But apart from Flagstaff Gardens, there's very little on William Street. A hilly street that's cheek-by-jowl office buildings and chain restaurants, William Street is not our favourite.

Content 2/5
Ease of transport 1/5
Usefulness 2/4
X factor 1/5

Total 6/20

Sheesh, we didn't realise until we started pulling this list together how much we do not need Little Collins Street. Its strongest X factor is being near other good things (Collins, Bourke, the arcades between them), which is not enough to lift its score. There are a few cool bars and restaurants (including LuWow, which is a surprise gem on an otherwise pretty quiet stretch), but we're not super enamoured.